This morning at 9am I began my new walk of life. I began my chemo treatment at Scripp's Medical Center in the office of Dr. Joel Bernstein. While driving down to La Jolla (it took us only 1 hr) I was pretty calm overall. I am so ready for this as much as any one person can be. I just feel in my heart of hearts that it's time to get this show on the road and get this intruder out of me. I have felt this from the get-go that I WANT IT OUT OF ME. But in order to get to this point, we all now know that it's a discovery process. So here we go. First off, I think I should go over my schedule as to how this is going to happen.
I will have a treatment once every 3 weeks. I will have a total of 6 treatments. I have an END date as well. Thursday, July 21, 2011 will be my final treatment with Chemo! EEEEHHHHHAAAA.
All my appointments are scheduled for Thursday mornings at 10:30am. That gives Jim and I time to drive down to La Jolla without the commuter traffic being present. Each appointment will last approx. 2.5 hrs. So I can bring my knitting, lap top, music, reading, etc. Anything to make me feel at ease.
It sure was a process to begn this treatment, but my amazing, knowledgeable nurse, Regan, (REE-GAN) is the quintescential nurse of knowledge. She knows ALL the ins and outs of each and every drug that I am being administered through my new handy-dandy port. It did not hurt when she make the connection from the skin side to connect my IV unit. The needle was a short rather stubby needle, but no fear, Regan make it look effortless. I cannot tell you how many meds I was administered. I think about 8 total. There was the first anti nausea pill. Next time I will have it injected into the IV. The only thing I did not like was being administered Benedryl -- yes, it relaxed me because it's an antihistamine, but it stays in my body and makes me feel wrung out. There was a tricky chemo drug that was the last one administered that had the potential for me to have severe "sensitivities" with and I sailed right through it as though nothing had been placed in me. PHEWWW!!! She was in and out of my room because my IV drip had a timer on it and would make the special beep noise that her ear is atuned to.
By the way, my room was very cozy and set there specifically for me. So I could have up to 3 other people in there if I needed to. There were these cute knitted and/or crochet hat that some lovely ladies/men had donated from local organizations -- free of charge. Pillows and afgans were there as well. All very clean and neatly folded. A lot of magazines that were up-to-date. Nothing from the early 2000's. Very kind. Like I stated earlier I brought a few things that made me feel safe and secure and loved. There is a special crystal type heart-shaped rock that was given to me by a dear, sweet, loving woman up in Oregon. And I know it was given with pure love for me. So that was in my palm to help me along when I got a little teary when I was explaining to my nurse how life has changed and how I'm coping, etc. So thank you, Brenda! I love you and your family -- more than you ever realized. I will always treasure this gift from you all.
Anyway, it was quite the process, but it was very calm. Regan explained everything in great detail as to what was happening at all times. We talked so much about what I may or may not experience. One thing for sure though, because of the type of drugs I'm being administered, I will be as bald as a cue-ball! Can you imagine? I can't but oh, well, it's going to happen. So I plan to make the best of it. Not sure if wigs are for me, but it could get interesting and rather fun. How about roll playing? HMMMMM! LOL. I see myself as more of the hat person, possibly scarf person. We'll see. Not ruling out just yet. But it's going to be pretty hot here this summer so I may get a wig for when I may want to be a little more discreet at a restaurant. But then again, why not just be who I am and show all that I don't need to hide. I am not this disease dammit! So that's what I'm debating about back and forth. I have to giggle to myself though -- I simply cannot fathom me bald. And let me jus say this: There are other areas that will be bald as well..........I'm calling it the Nuclear Brazilian!!!! How about them apples? LOL!!!! For those of you are a little shy, hey, it's life and this is what it is. Get over it. I have to. I have to live with this.....Dear GAWD.
Supposedley, I will not experience the vomiting episodes I have been so dreading. Thank you God. I will be taking anti-nausea meds possibly beginning tomorrow. I had a big shot placed inside my IV before I left. I had quite a dose today. As we progress further into this, I will have my treatment more tweaked to my specific needs and what works for my body and cancer. So glad. Each time I had new medicine administered, I could not feel it. No, there was NO burning, no nothing in my case. I have a lot of stuff to remember and once again, note taking is essential. But if I forget anything or didn't get the questions answered, they are a phone call way and I was encouraged to call. Definitely don't silently suffer. I must be very proactive with any and all side effects.
Oh, the great news: I can hug! I can HUG!!!!! I just can't hug anyone who thinks they may be coming down with a cold, etc. They kept on encouraging me to be as "normal" as possible. I know, I know, I'm NOT normal, but I think you catch my drift. I may have days that I'm pretty fatigued, etc, but I need to work through a lot of the lighter fatigue. I am shooting for 150 minutes a week of exercise at least. That means 30 minutes daily of walking or doing whatever I want at the gym within REASON. No I'm not to do power lifting and over-achieving with the aerobics, but I can sweat and do my thing. This will help me emotionally and physically, keeping all those good cells getting stronger and stronger. Thank goodness I have the time to only deal with what I have in front of me. I can't help but empathize with anyone who has growing children and going through this. Also, thank GOD for great insurance. Imagnine trying to go through this without the proper insurance. How much longer it takes and what kind of medical care does one get? It makes me sick to my stomach thinking other aren't getting what I'm getting. I am blessed truly.
While I'm on the subject, I'm going to suggest to anyone out there that not only get a mammogram, but if you suspect there is any other lump, bump, anything in your breasts -- young and older -- tell your doctor you WANT an ultrasound. The ultrasound can find the lumps! You must do this for yourself. Please do this for yourself. Insist and don't put your head in the sand. Insist. Ok. I'm done.
So I'm home and doing really well. I could possibly begin to have some side affects beginning by Sunday or Monday with possible body aches -- something similar to flu-like symptons. I have "meds" to take if this begins. Meds, meds, meds. Good, bad, ugly. But, hey, as long as I'm eating little meals and staying ahead of certain issues that may crop up, I should be good to go. At least this is my truth currently. I have to continue to take this anti-inflammatory tonight and tomorrow. It makes me very wide awake and very clear minded. Almost like the movie I just saw: Limitless. I enjoyed this movie. Anyway, I think that I will have to take a sleeping aid to help me go to sleep because I MUST concerve my energy. But I'm eating clean foods and nothing that's spicy or over flavored. My nurse told me to eat whatever I want and when I want. The days of lots of food on the plate are done. Mini meals whenever and I will do this because I don't want to experience some effects that I can avoid. But we'll see.
Oh, this third drug that was administered to me has a nasty side affect that I cannot avoid unfortunately. That is I will be experiencing water rention in my hands, feet and possibly face (of course) and could gain between 5-10 lbs. I have just lost 14 lbs and now I will go balloon back up. Cruel and NOT FAIR. I know, life isn't, but I still have to let it out. However, the good news is as soon as chemo stops, the water will go away! I will lose it very easily as I was told today. By they way, all those years of me struggling with my weight was due to my CANCER. My estrogen dominance and the fact of the inflammation of my tissues. Oh, yeah, I want the explitives to flow, but we all know what they are. ARRRRGGGHHHH. This is why I am enjoying this blog because I can let it out here and get it out of my mind and body. It will not help me to keep this locked in.
And, yes, there are other side affects that can happen, but I will spare you all the details. Suffice it to say, I will be busily trying to be balanced and smart about what goes into my body -- food, that is. Organics!
I miss Humboldt County's excellent organics and availability of great products; but I still have found some reliable resources down here. I'm learning about where to find them.
Ok. So that is it for now. I must go have a little meal now and take some pills. Sound like a good time. If all goes well, I will be going to volunteer tomorrow for a couple hours at the animal shelter. I feel so lucky to be here. I thank you one and all again for your concern, good wishes and out-pouring of love.
Yes, you best, and my cup's half full!
Ciao
