It certainly has been awhile since I've made time to write here. Once again, I always question: Why would anyone want to read my blog? But it's amazing how many friends tell me they want me to write.
Ok, since some of you are requesting something, I will begin or continue to write even if it seems mundane and non-sensicle (word?) Either way, I will try to bring you all up to speed.....
Up till today, all I've been doing is trying to live my life normal -- whatever that means. I've been creating routines -- that's been a big help for me. It's interesting for me to observe what my life used to be and now how it really is...... I begin my day by feeding my dogs. I then make sure to do some sort of exercise. YOGA is proving itself to be the way to heal for me. It's helping me to not only get centered, but it's helping me physically to get my flexibility back and there's some pounds beginning to shed. All those months of not moving really seized my body. My pelvis and lower back were stiffening up to the point where I was walking like a person who had "issues." This regular regime of yoga is helping me big time. I'm able to stretch the way I could when I was in great shape. While doing yoga routines, I sweat like a pig! I feel the toxins being released and it feels so good to lighten that load out of my body. I have many challenges considering I still have those lovely "expanders" in my chest. They pinch me when I perform certain twists and turns. I will have those in till 2013. Seems like a long time, but remember, I'm still healing. Yes, I may be looking more "normal" and acting more "normal" but I'm far from "normal." It's a harsh reality for me to admit that and to even say it out loud. But it's going to take me months to get my complete energy back; but I have to say, I'm on the road.........I love the fact that I'm not having to take naps now. I rest around 3:30pm each day for about 1/2 hour. I MUST listen to my body. If I don't, I pay the price big time by not having energy the next day to go about my business. And for me to be able to do normal activities is essential.
I want to and continue to strive for relevance. That's why it's so important for me to have routines. My mornings are filled, thank God! I can do all my housework now without issues. Because of my exercising and routines, I can bend and stoop and lift some heavier things easier now. Yay! I know what I should and should not be doing. I have nothing to prove to anyone. And I think I have my ego in check pretty much now. I don't hesitate to ask someone at the grocery store to help me, if I need it. But for the most part, I don't need assistance.
My hair has grown so quickly. Wow! I've had 2 haircuts now. I've even had it "thinned." Can you believe that one? Thinned out! Love that. My hair is a bit darker now, but I'm still salt/pepper looking; and I love it. I think I will grow out my hair to get some kind of bob cut, but we'll see. I really like the no-fuss short hair cut I'm sporting. And I always wear my earrings. My eyelashes are still growing and falling out from time to time. That's part of the healing process. My eyebrows are still thin, but I see evidence of new growth all the time. My skin is bright and clear -- it's the healthiest it's ever been. I have to say, I do look good. But I still haven't updated, my picture on this site just because I keep forgetting. Even though I forget, I have to say, my brain cells are regenerating! Thank you, God!
It's getting better regarding my memory loss. I do little brain teasers to help myself remember. I can forget simple conversations, which is so strange and unconcerting to say the least. But it's getting fewer and farther in between memory losses. I don't dwell ~~ I go onto the next. It seems to work best for me this way.
I had to go to my radiology oncologist today down in Vista, CA. Love her! She's the bomb! Even though I don't like going to these appointments because it's a reminder to me that I've had cancer -- I still like seeing the staff. They are amazing professionals who really care and do their jobs so well.
My doc examined me thoroughly. It's not just having a conversation; she really checks me out very thoroughly. My radiation scars are doing well, but she did tell me today that one area where my skin was completely desquimated will probably stay light the way it has healed. Then there is another little area at the base of my neck that is darker -- that too, may stay this way. Either way, I'm not tramatized by this fact. To me it's like: Oh, well........Could be worse. My doc told me she's in AWE of me. I was rather shocked by her comment. I don't think of myself ever moving anyone in that manner. She shared with me that so many people don't stay up-beat or have positivity in their life the way I do. I shared back with her that if there tables were turned, you, too, would be moving forward and doing all that you could do to improve your fight with cancer. But she told me she wasn't so sure if she could or not. But that she appreciates my ability to view life the way I do. That was so amazingly nice for her to share with me. It truly moves me deeply, but I still feel that anyone would do what I've been doing. I'm not so special -- I'm me who wants to LIVE and live a long time, I hope with all my being.
I think of myself sometimes as being a big baby about things. Sometimes I pay way too much attention to the creaks and cracks in my overall health. I think sometimes I think way too much; I think sometimes I get way too much up into my head. But that's what makes me human............That's why I keep myself so busy. I hate it when I allow myself to over-think.
I'm looking forward to figuring out what I want to do with my life when I grow up. Not making too much head-way presently. I know it's supposed to "show itself" to me some day, but there is that side of me that is a control freak still -- and I want some answers NOW. I think many of us can relate to that, right? Either way, I am still learning patience and being in the present moments. For the most part, I love my life! I'm happier than I've ever been and I like myself so much better than ever and I know I still have so much to live and accomplish. So we'll see. Something, please show yourself someday to me! LOL!! For now I continue to knit and crochet (still my ZEN!!!!); I garden and am learning about succulents and cacti. I dance around whenever I feel like it; And I laugh whenever possible; I keep on hanging with my dogs and am making new friends. There are some special women in my life now -- whether they realize it or not, they keep me in check and I'm allowing myself to be a better friend. My amazing and wonderful hubby is still my rock and always will be. But the cool thing is, I find myself becoming his rock once again, too! And, of course, my daughters are simply amazing people.
It astounds me how quickly time passes by and I can say I make the best of it. Looking forward on this journey and looking forward to see what the next chapters are. Maybe the next time I write, I will have something more interesting to share.
I still feel overall my Cup's Half Full.
Ciao, Ciao!
Ok, since some of you are requesting something, I will begin or continue to write even if it seems mundane and non-sensicle (word?) Either way, I will try to bring you all up to speed.....
Up till today, all I've been doing is trying to live my life normal -- whatever that means. I've been creating routines -- that's been a big help for me. It's interesting for me to observe what my life used to be and now how it really is...... I begin my day by feeding my dogs. I then make sure to do some sort of exercise. YOGA is proving itself to be the way to heal for me. It's helping me to not only get centered, but it's helping me physically to get my flexibility back and there's some pounds beginning to shed. All those months of not moving really seized my body. My pelvis and lower back were stiffening up to the point where I was walking like a person who had "issues." This regular regime of yoga is helping me big time. I'm able to stretch the way I could when I was in great shape. While doing yoga routines, I sweat like a pig! I feel the toxins being released and it feels so good to lighten that load out of my body. I have many challenges considering I still have those lovely "expanders" in my chest. They pinch me when I perform certain twists and turns. I will have those in till 2013. Seems like a long time, but remember, I'm still healing. Yes, I may be looking more "normal" and acting more "normal" but I'm far from "normal." It's a harsh reality for me to admit that and to even say it out loud. But it's going to take me months to get my complete energy back; but I have to say, I'm on the road.........I love the fact that I'm not having to take naps now. I rest around 3:30pm each day for about 1/2 hour. I MUST listen to my body. If I don't, I pay the price big time by not having energy the next day to go about my business. And for me to be able to do normal activities is essential.
I want to and continue to strive for relevance. That's why it's so important for me to have routines. My mornings are filled, thank God! I can do all my housework now without issues. Because of my exercising and routines, I can bend and stoop and lift some heavier things easier now. Yay! I know what I should and should not be doing. I have nothing to prove to anyone. And I think I have my ego in check pretty much now. I don't hesitate to ask someone at the grocery store to help me, if I need it. But for the most part, I don't need assistance.
My hair has grown so quickly. Wow! I've had 2 haircuts now. I've even had it "thinned." Can you believe that one? Thinned out! Love that. My hair is a bit darker now, but I'm still salt/pepper looking; and I love it. I think I will grow out my hair to get some kind of bob cut, but we'll see. I really like the no-fuss short hair cut I'm sporting. And I always wear my earrings. My eyelashes are still growing and falling out from time to time. That's part of the healing process. My eyebrows are still thin, but I see evidence of new growth all the time. My skin is bright and clear -- it's the healthiest it's ever been. I have to say, I do look good. But I still haven't updated, my picture on this site just because I keep forgetting. Even though I forget, I have to say, my brain cells are regenerating! Thank you, God!
It's getting better regarding my memory loss. I do little brain teasers to help myself remember. I can forget simple conversations, which is so strange and unconcerting to say the least. But it's getting fewer and farther in between memory losses. I don't dwell ~~ I go onto the next. It seems to work best for me this way.
I had to go to my radiology oncologist today down in Vista, CA. Love her! She's the bomb! Even though I don't like going to these appointments because it's a reminder to me that I've had cancer -- I still like seeing the staff. They are amazing professionals who really care and do their jobs so well.
My doc examined me thoroughly. It's not just having a conversation; she really checks me out very thoroughly. My radiation scars are doing well, but she did tell me today that one area where my skin was completely desquimated will probably stay light the way it has healed. Then there is another little area at the base of my neck that is darker -- that too, may stay this way. Either way, I'm not tramatized by this fact. To me it's like: Oh, well........Could be worse. My doc told me she's in AWE of me. I was rather shocked by her comment. I don't think of myself ever moving anyone in that manner. She shared with me that so many people don't stay up-beat or have positivity in their life the way I do. I shared back with her that if there tables were turned, you, too, would be moving forward and doing all that you could do to improve your fight with cancer. But she told me she wasn't so sure if she could or not. But that she appreciates my ability to view life the way I do. That was so amazingly nice for her to share with me. It truly moves me deeply, but I still feel that anyone would do what I've been doing. I'm not so special -- I'm me who wants to LIVE and live a long time, I hope with all my being.
I think of myself sometimes as being a big baby about things. Sometimes I pay way too much attention to the creaks and cracks in my overall health. I think sometimes I think way too much; I think sometimes I get way too much up into my head. But that's what makes me human............That's why I keep myself so busy. I hate it when I allow myself to over-think.
I'm looking forward to figuring out what I want to do with my life when I grow up. Not making too much head-way presently. I know it's supposed to "show itself" to me some day, but there is that side of me that is a control freak still -- and I want some answers NOW. I think many of us can relate to that, right? Either way, I am still learning patience and being in the present moments. For the most part, I love my life! I'm happier than I've ever been and I like myself so much better than ever and I know I still have so much to live and accomplish. So we'll see. Something, please show yourself someday to me! LOL!! For now I continue to knit and crochet (still my ZEN!!!!); I garden and am learning about succulents and cacti. I dance around whenever I feel like it; And I laugh whenever possible; I keep on hanging with my dogs and am making new friends. There are some special women in my life now -- whether they realize it or not, they keep me in check and I'm allowing myself to be a better friend. My amazing and wonderful hubby is still my rock and always will be. But the cool thing is, I find myself becoming his rock once again, too! And, of course, my daughters are simply amazing people.
It astounds me how quickly time passes by and I can say I make the best of it. Looking forward on this journey and looking forward to see what the next chapters are. Maybe the next time I write, I will have something more interesting to share.
I still feel overall my Cup's Half Full.
Ciao, Ciao!
