It's been awhile since I've signed in. Frankly, there hasn't been any news that was noteworthy.
I've been dealing with some pain, which isn't always a fun topic. However, it's part of the reality of recuperation. In the beginning of my recuperation, I had a lot of inflammation surrounding my chest. As the inflammation has decreased, the pain has gone up somewhat. Interesting, I know, but what happens, the skin gets tighter around my expanders that have been placed in my chest area. They are for "expanding" my soon-to-be new breasts. They are expanded with saline solution. As the skin deflates, I can feel the expanders moreso inside my chest. It feels like I have built-in armore wear. It's not comfortable a lot of the time, but it's not like I cannot cope. I'm still healing and I'm working on the patience part of this situation.
My body has been a very good gauge for me. If I do too much at a time, I really collapse later on. And that is not a joke at all. It's also not an exaggeration. My body shuts down and I need to sleep. I don't fool around any longer with trying to "suck it up" and "be tough" through all this. It is what it is and I must do my best to heal. And when I say HEAL, I mean do absolutely NOTHING. I'm one of the lucky ones that doesn't have to try and work through this while working outside the home. I do know about many, many women who don't have the luxury of staying home and simply healing. It breaks my heart for them. They are the true warriors out there.
With this recuperation time, my hair has started to come in big time. It's not long, but it's coming in and I look very similar to a Chia Pet! My hair is so soft and downy feeling. It's pretty cool! It's so funny how people will come straight for my head and cop a feel on my head! LOL!! I don't mind at all. It's rather endearing all in all. My doctors love to check out my hair growth! The other great things that are growing back are my eyelashes and eyebrows! So very happy about this. My eyelashes are coming back in at the same time -- I guess I had thought they might grow in a couple at a time. Not sure why, but that's what I was thinking. I'm so glad I'm wrong. It makes such a difference getting my eyelashes back. I'm not experiencing that sensitivity to air, air-borne particulates, light, etc. They aren't long enough for mascara just yet, but they are growing and that's what is important. My eyebrows are coming back in, too! Yippee Skippee! I won't have to use make-up to color them in any longer.
I haven't been wearing any kind of bandana or hats lately mainly because I've been in the house, but since my hair is growing back in I figure why hide it? I feel so much better with the air flowing around my head anyway, so why hide? I do, however, make sure I have great earrings on at all times! That's my thing big time. I MUST wear my earrings. LOL! Silly as it may seem, I feel naked without my earrings. Oh, well, whatever floats one's boat, right? Whatever it takes to get through this time works for me and probably always will be.
Big news: Yesterday I went to my plastic surgeon's office for a follow-up appointment to check how I'm healing. After the exam and discussion about all that has transpired since our last appointment, he simply said, "I think it's time to fill your breasts." I don't know why I was so surprised, but I was. We hadn't really discussed the last time I was in that this was going to happen. I was thinking it would probably happen within the next couple weeks before I begin my radiation. So he had to give me a shot at the site where the ports are located at each breast. Expanders have a port area. I'm not sure if they are usually at the bottom of one's breast area, but mine are located there. That's the pain area I've been experiencing since the inflammation has been going away. So he numbed up the port area (yes, with a shot -- no biggy!) and then had a huge syringe filled with 100 ccs of saline with a long tube to place inside the port -- he had to stick it through my skin to attach to the port just under the skin area. They my nurse began the process of administering the saline into the port. I could see my breast start to fill up a bit. Really interesting and very surreal at the same time. No, it did not hurt. I'm numb there anyway, so I feel nothing. My doc added 50 ccs to my left breast. So now I have little lady lumps going on! Very cool. I have a cool cleavage! LOL.
Oh, yes, Jim was in the room the entire time -- we both were so amazed at what was occurring. I will have a little discomfort from this "expansion" to get my skin and muscle ready for the implant that will take place on my 2nd surgery. This surgery won't occur till after radiation. Radiation causes scar tissue to occur. In my case, the scar tissue will happen on my left breast area and in the center of my chest and armpit area. That is why I need to have my breast filled BEFORE radiation due to scar tissue forming which will make it difficult for a clean result for reconstructive surgery. Understand, my breasts are not perfect in formation at this point. That will happen when my doc operates on me during the 2nd surgery. There is excess skin to remove and I will have a little liposuction done on my right armpit area to match my left armpit area. I have no idea at this point what other little tweaks here and there will be until we see how I come through radiation.
I had no idea that I would be so excited by getting this first fill in my breasts. I will have another fill next week but not much more because I want to stay smaller than I was before. I do know that when I'm finished with this, I will have really beautiful, perky breasts! He also will be building nipples for me. Not the twist type or tattooed type as well -- he builds them. I've seen pics of reconstructed and augmented women that he has performed his magic with and let me tell you, he is an artist. Amazing results. I think my new boobs are going to be better than ever! I never would have done anything like this had it not been for this cancer. Weird how good things come out of a bad situation. Today, I feel a little tight but nothing I can't deal with. Not going to need meds for a few hours more, but I don't suffer at all.
I have a consultation with my soon-to-be new radiation doctor Friday, October 7. My current oncologist wants me to begin my radiation treatment as soon as possible -- so that means I will most likely begin the following week after my initial consultation. I understand this doctor is once again, amazing, and has great patient/doctor rapor with HER patients. I look forward to meeting with her and getting to know her and her methods and ideology concerning my treatment plan. I do know this: I will be going 5 days a week for 6 weeks. Nothing shorter than that. My oncologist, Dr. Bernstein, wants me to go the full length of this treatment, which I'm in agreement with. I want full recovery. I don't want this cancer to have a chance to rear it's ugly head ever again in me if at all possible! So I must do this for ME!
Overall, my emotional state is really good. I feel like I'm on the other side of this journey. I still have quite a walk to go on, but I'm stronger than ever and I plan to finish this off with my head held high and with purpose like no other. Not sure what the future holds for me, but it's going to be a ride of my life, I'm sure. I'm looking forward to this part of it. I have changed forever and I know it's for the best. I still get emotional once in awhile, still not sure why, but I do, but I'm more grateful than sorrowful. There is nothing to be sorrowful about. I'm alive and healing and getting my life back. It's going to be different; there are going to be different things about my body that I will live with, but overall, I'm doing very well. I do laugh a lot more now, but carefully, because when I laugh too hard, it hurts with my expanders in my chest. But I have found another way to allow my big laugh to show itself! I'm not me unless I have a big laugh from time to time.
I'm really looking forward to the holidays this year. We have so much to be thankful for. Wow, that's an understatement! I'm so thankful for everything in my life. And I mean EVERYTHING. I can't wait for my mom to get down here. We will bring her down to stay with us in November. She will stay with us for at least a couple months.
I plan to drive with my hubby and her back up to Humboldt County in January. I really look forward to seeing some old friends and see some old business friends and do some major knitting while I'm up there as well. Got to invest back into the community. So I have somethings to look forward to in the next year.
I may not be complete with my reconstruction for a year or so, but that's fine with me.
Most of the time my Cup's Half FULL and now it's even more! LOL!! Loving my life so much more and I continue to heal without issues! I'm so blessed beyond words. I am so thankful my family and friends continue to surround me with love. I continue to receive the most wonderful cards and well-wishes. I love them so much. It really helps me in my healing. Those beautiful words that are written mean so much to me and my family.
Thank you again!
Ciao, Ciao
I've been dealing with some pain, which isn't always a fun topic. However, it's part of the reality of recuperation. In the beginning of my recuperation, I had a lot of inflammation surrounding my chest. As the inflammation has decreased, the pain has gone up somewhat. Interesting, I know, but what happens, the skin gets tighter around my expanders that have been placed in my chest area. They are for "expanding" my soon-to-be new breasts. They are expanded with saline solution. As the skin deflates, I can feel the expanders moreso inside my chest. It feels like I have built-in armore wear. It's not comfortable a lot of the time, but it's not like I cannot cope. I'm still healing and I'm working on the patience part of this situation.
My body has been a very good gauge for me. If I do too much at a time, I really collapse later on. And that is not a joke at all. It's also not an exaggeration. My body shuts down and I need to sleep. I don't fool around any longer with trying to "suck it up" and "be tough" through all this. It is what it is and I must do my best to heal. And when I say HEAL, I mean do absolutely NOTHING. I'm one of the lucky ones that doesn't have to try and work through this while working outside the home. I do know about many, many women who don't have the luxury of staying home and simply healing. It breaks my heart for them. They are the true warriors out there.
With this recuperation time, my hair has started to come in big time. It's not long, but it's coming in and I look very similar to a Chia Pet! My hair is so soft and downy feeling. It's pretty cool! It's so funny how people will come straight for my head and cop a feel on my head! LOL!! I don't mind at all. It's rather endearing all in all. My doctors love to check out my hair growth! The other great things that are growing back are my eyelashes and eyebrows! So very happy about this. My eyelashes are coming back in at the same time -- I guess I had thought they might grow in a couple at a time. Not sure why, but that's what I was thinking. I'm so glad I'm wrong. It makes such a difference getting my eyelashes back. I'm not experiencing that sensitivity to air, air-borne particulates, light, etc. They aren't long enough for mascara just yet, but they are growing and that's what is important. My eyebrows are coming back in, too! Yippee Skippee! I won't have to use make-up to color them in any longer.
I haven't been wearing any kind of bandana or hats lately mainly because I've been in the house, but since my hair is growing back in I figure why hide it? I feel so much better with the air flowing around my head anyway, so why hide? I do, however, make sure I have great earrings on at all times! That's my thing big time. I MUST wear my earrings. LOL! Silly as it may seem, I feel naked without my earrings. Oh, well, whatever floats one's boat, right? Whatever it takes to get through this time works for me and probably always will be.
Big news: Yesterday I went to my plastic surgeon's office for a follow-up appointment to check how I'm healing. After the exam and discussion about all that has transpired since our last appointment, he simply said, "I think it's time to fill your breasts." I don't know why I was so surprised, but I was. We hadn't really discussed the last time I was in that this was going to happen. I was thinking it would probably happen within the next couple weeks before I begin my radiation. So he had to give me a shot at the site where the ports are located at each breast. Expanders have a port area. I'm not sure if they are usually at the bottom of one's breast area, but mine are located there. That's the pain area I've been experiencing since the inflammation has been going away. So he numbed up the port area (yes, with a shot -- no biggy!) and then had a huge syringe filled with 100 ccs of saline with a long tube to place inside the port -- he had to stick it through my skin to attach to the port just under the skin area. They my nurse began the process of administering the saline into the port. I could see my breast start to fill up a bit. Really interesting and very surreal at the same time. No, it did not hurt. I'm numb there anyway, so I feel nothing. My doc added 50 ccs to my left breast. So now I have little lady lumps going on! Very cool. I have a cool cleavage! LOL.
Oh, yes, Jim was in the room the entire time -- we both were so amazed at what was occurring. I will have a little discomfort from this "expansion" to get my skin and muscle ready for the implant that will take place on my 2nd surgery. This surgery won't occur till after radiation. Radiation causes scar tissue to occur. In my case, the scar tissue will happen on my left breast area and in the center of my chest and armpit area. That is why I need to have my breast filled BEFORE radiation due to scar tissue forming which will make it difficult for a clean result for reconstructive surgery. Understand, my breasts are not perfect in formation at this point. That will happen when my doc operates on me during the 2nd surgery. There is excess skin to remove and I will have a little liposuction done on my right armpit area to match my left armpit area. I have no idea at this point what other little tweaks here and there will be until we see how I come through radiation.
I had no idea that I would be so excited by getting this first fill in my breasts. I will have another fill next week but not much more because I want to stay smaller than I was before. I do know that when I'm finished with this, I will have really beautiful, perky breasts! He also will be building nipples for me. Not the twist type or tattooed type as well -- he builds them. I've seen pics of reconstructed and augmented women that he has performed his magic with and let me tell you, he is an artist. Amazing results. I think my new boobs are going to be better than ever! I never would have done anything like this had it not been for this cancer. Weird how good things come out of a bad situation. Today, I feel a little tight but nothing I can't deal with. Not going to need meds for a few hours more, but I don't suffer at all.
I have a consultation with my soon-to-be new radiation doctor Friday, October 7. My current oncologist wants me to begin my radiation treatment as soon as possible -- so that means I will most likely begin the following week after my initial consultation. I understand this doctor is once again, amazing, and has great patient/doctor rapor with HER patients. I look forward to meeting with her and getting to know her and her methods and ideology concerning my treatment plan. I do know this: I will be going 5 days a week for 6 weeks. Nothing shorter than that. My oncologist, Dr. Bernstein, wants me to go the full length of this treatment, which I'm in agreement with. I want full recovery. I don't want this cancer to have a chance to rear it's ugly head ever again in me if at all possible! So I must do this for ME!
Overall, my emotional state is really good. I feel like I'm on the other side of this journey. I still have quite a walk to go on, but I'm stronger than ever and I plan to finish this off with my head held high and with purpose like no other. Not sure what the future holds for me, but it's going to be a ride of my life, I'm sure. I'm looking forward to this part of it. I have changed forever and I know it's for the best. I still get emotional once in awhile, still not sure why, but I do, but I'm more grateful than sorrowful. There is nothing to be sorrowful about. I'm alive and healing and getting my life back. It's going to be different; there are going to be different things about my body that I will live with, but overall, I'm doing very well. I do laugh a lot more now, but carefully, because when I laugh too hard, it hurts with my expanders in my chest. But I have found another way to allow my big laugh to show itself! I'm not me unless I have a big laugh from time to time.
I'm really looking forward to the holidays this year. We have so much to be thankful for. Wow, that's an understatement! I'm so thankful for everything in my life. And I mean EVERYTHING. I can't wait for my mom to get down here. We will bring her down to stay with us in November. She will stay with us for at least a couple months.
I plan to drive with my hubby and her back up to Humboldt County in January. I really look forward to seeing some old friends and see some old business friends and do some major knitting while I'm up there as well. Got to invest back into the community. So I have somethings to look forward to in the next year.
I may not be complete with my reconstruction for a year or so, but that's fine with me.
Most of the time my Cup's Half FULL and now it's even more! LOL!! Loving my life so much more and I continue to heal without issues! I'm so blessed beyond words. I am so thankful my family and friends continue to surround me with love. I continue to receive the most wonderful cards and well-wishes. I love them so much. It really helps me in my healing. Those beautiful words that are written mean so much to me and my family.
Thank you again!
Ciao, Ciao
