I had a very busy day, Tuesday. I started out by going over to my plastic surgeon's office to fill out paperwork for my surgery, etc. Then off to my breast MRI. That went well. I still cannot get over how LOUD those stupid machines are. I envision some kind of engineer trying to figure out how they can develop a machine that can get into the psyche of a person's mind. All those various sound levels and cranking sounds. So strange to me. Why can they not make an MRI machine "do their thing" but without all those noises? We do live in 2011; don't we? Just wondering........... Anyway, getting back on track.................After the MRI, I went up into the "Tower" where my general surgeon resides to review with him my results of the MRI. What's cool is that they have the ability to review results from medical tests on the Scripp's computer systems program almost immediately. It's very efficient.
Oh, I should back up a bit and let all know Jim and I were greatly surprised Monday night by Amy arriving into the states and surprising us big time at Ashley's home! Oh, yeah, I cried and laughed like a baby! I've been wanting her to be here for so long and she's finally here! They got us good! Ashley arranged all this secretively for over a month now. Sneaky, beautiful woman! Love her! Anyway, Amy is here and we are back together! WE cannot wait for our son-in-law to arrive soon as well! But for now, it's the 4 of us again! So glad she can be here while all these preparations are going on and that we have a chance to catch up before surgery happens.
Back to the doc's visit...........
I'm waiting there along with my family and my doctor literally busts in the office exam room with his eyes bulging big time. He states, "You have AMAZING RESULTS!" "I cannot believe these results; they are simply AMAZING!" He went on to explain my tumors have shrunk so much that they are practically non-existent! Of course, once again, I began to cry and laugh at the same time -- how that happens, I don't know, but what great news, right? What phenominal news! When you have a tumor in your axillary go from 5 cm to a mere small pea size, once gets excited! My breast tumors are like little blips on the screen! Incomprehensible! The chemo did it's job and the PRAYERS AND POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS did the biggest job of all, we all believe! But most of all the doc was beside himself. He is a very dignified person. He is always caustiously optimistic, reserved because they must be. He deals with the worst situations that come his way -- he can't be animated necessarily. But he was practically doing a jig in the office. We all just hugged! Then we got back to the business at hand at preparation for my surgery. But because of the change in my tissues and circumstance, the surgery will change as to how they will deal with my removal of the affected areas. I will be having another PET scan and Venous Doplar Study this week. I'm curious to see if the spot that exists in my chest is gone now. Not sure if this will stop them from radiating that area -- probably not, but it will give me more a peace of mind that it may be gone.
I keep on saying my prayers and meditations and positive affirmations. No matter what, I am going to beat this Cancer! It cannot get Lynn Johnson! It simply CANNOT!
Anyway, getting back to the doc exam. He told us to come into this office to see the MRI images. Wow, wow, wow! I/we never saw the first set of images -- probably due to the fact I had been in such a shock type mindset and didn't even ask. Neither one of us asked to see. And I'm sooooooooooooo glad I didn't see my first set of images. It looked to me like a bad weather pattern coming across a region of land! What a mass of destruction called Cancer. Very scary stuff. I think it would have put me back emotionally, mentally, and physically! Would have been counter productive for me. Not to say that anyone else wouldn't want to see their images, but for me, NO. Now seeing the comparison images was great. I could see the before and after chemo. My tissues look so clear and clean with little and I mean LITTLE tumors. And without all the other blurry tissue malformations. All I could do was say to myself, "Thank you God! And Thank you ALL for those prayers!" So profound and I cannot express this well enough. I also have a sense of relief even though the cancer is still there. Odd, I know, but in cases such as mine, prognosis can be very difficult. It doesn't always turn around this dramatically. I have realized this from the beginning. I knew this. But one doesn't want to focus on that fact. I want to focus on how to make this better and get well! My goal has always been to grow very old with Jim and to enjoy our unborn grandchildren. I also want to continue my travels around the US and the world. I have a life I want to continue to live. I am living, but obviously not completely. I'm working on that part. None of us have guarantees. I get that, but I don't want Cancer in my life. And I certainly don't want it to be the main concern in my life. I still feel it's an unwelcomed intruder. So it must go away. And I do believe we are on the right path for that to become a reality!
Isn't this great news? I'm so stoked! I'm so hopeful and greatful for the way things are being handled. One step at a time and not putting the cart before the horse. I know I have a long way still, but it's looking bright! And I'm going to enjoy that fact.
I know I have a huge surgery coming up. It's very daunting to me, but I can get through the physical aspect of it. I will wrap my brain around this process and do my part. I continue to need prayers and ask it of anyone who cares. My family needs prayers. But I know we are being supported. If we weren't, there would be another type prognosis happening now.
Yes, Yes, Yes, my Cup's Half Full! More than ever! LOL!! Will keep all posted as to the next few steps. I have my youngest daughter here to complete our little circle! I'm so lucky to have the love of my family the way we love each other. Good, bad and the ugly! LOL!!
Ciao, Ciao!
