How does time fly by so quickly is beyond my comprehension. But it has and now tomorrow, Monday, August 29, 2011, is almost here.
A lot has happened since the last time I wrote on my blog.
I had my breast MRI, I had a 2nd venous doplar study (vein study) and had a 2nd PET SCAN.
I have all good news, if you can believe that one. To begin with, my breast MRI showed my left axillary (armpit/node area) and left breast with significant reductions in the tumors. My doctors were so amazingly happy. And, of course, so am I and my family. I cannot explain the sense of relief I have been living since all the test results. I think I floated out of the surgeon's office. I had a lot of hugs from the nurses and all around me! Very cool situation to be in considering my original tumor in my armpit was 5 cm and now is down to a small pea is almost inconceivable to me. My tumors in my breast are little blips on the screen. Very small -- well below how it started. The PET Scan also showed negative results which means there are no other areas in my body that have cancer attached. The shadow that showed in the center of my chest is now GONE!!! However, that doesn't mean I don't avoid radiation. I will still have radiation in that area and in my axillary area and I imagine there might be radiation in my left breast area, but am not sure on that one just yet. My doplar study showed that there is no superficial blood clot in my right arm either. Way back at the beginning of all the chemo treatments I had the issue with my right arm developing a small superficial blood clot due to the port placement and the initial treatment with 3 chemo drugs -- one notably the nemisus: Adrymyacine. (evil but effective drug). Anyway, my veins are all flowing properly throughout my arm and through the area where the incision was made. It takes months for veins to get back to working properly, which also means that the inflammation I was experiencing takes time to go away. All this is due to chemo ~ bottom line. I just have to be patient a little while longer, but at least I know that time will heal.
So once I got these results back, I have been able to feel a sense of relaxation -- breathe a little easier and know that I will be able to go into my surgery stronger mentally/emotionally with greater hope than I could have expected. I know in my heart of hearts that all this good news isn't just because chemo did it's job. My unexpected great results are because of prayers, because of the good, positive attitude I have been holding onto, because of the love that has been coming my way from here or from around the world. I know all of this has helped my treatment.
I am very ready for this cancer to be out of my body and I expect my team of doctors will be at their best tomorrow morning since I am the first surgery of the day for them. They have assured me they are ready. I told them both to make sure to get a good night's sleep and DO NOT drink coffee before touching a scalpel! LOL!! They got a good chuckle out of that one. My family and I will be leaving home by 4am to get to the hospital. I have to be there by 5:15am. I also told the docs I want to be put out rather quickly because I don't want to watch them get ready for me in the operating room. Last time I had a little too much time to chat with people while they were readying the room. I don't want to see that this time. The surgery is supposed to last 5 - 6 hrs total, but I have a huntch that may not occur. My general surgeon, Dr. Hyde, stated that it should be simpler than first anticipated, so we'll see. My reconstructive surgeon, Dr. Barttelbort, has the majority of the work to begin tomorrow as well. I have been prepped that this is not the finish work surgery. This is the beginning phase of reconstruction. I will have 2 more surgeries after this one. It may be one year before this is truly over for the reconstructive portion.
I have been told repeatedly that I need to be more authentic with my life overall. This whole journey has been teaching me how to be more authentic in my life. I notice through this writing that I am in the process of learning more and more about myself and how it's okay to not be happy at all times if that's NOT what I'm feeling. It's okay to admit that life isn't so great today or that I don't feel like talking to whoever it may be at that time. But it's very important to be present and enjoying life -- really embracing it more than I thought could possibly be embraced. I have always thought I was enjoying life to it's fullest when in fact, I may not have been so much. I certainly know I worried a lot. I worried about the things in life that we have no control of. I continue to learn daily and I continue to love life more and more.
Today has been a day of getting my final obligations in order such as paying our monthly bills, doing last minute laundry, got my medical bed made up with sheets with extra padding, packing my bag, and doing some physical therapy for circulation. Been receiving quite a few phone calls which has made me very emotional -- which is a good thing. I am grateful for all the love coming my way. It was pretty difficult talking with my Mother today. She was very emotional which caused me to start crying. It's so difficult not seeing her in person before this surgery. I will speak with her before tomorrow again.
My hubby is asleep right now and we're supposed to be going to a baseball game. Not sure if we are going to make it to this one. The game is being played earlier than normal and it's hot outside ~ almost 100 degrees. In Lake Elsinore, where the game is being played, it's going to be even hotter. We'll see if we go -- I think we'll make it. We want to take Amy's friend to the game -- it will be her first American game she has attended. She is originally from Greece and now lives in France. It's great having her here. She has been so helpful!
Okay. the next time I write will be updating all as to what has transpired since my bi-lateral mastectomy.
I am ready. I feel very calm and confident with my decision. Here I go! The new Lynn is about to emerge into a new butterfly (at least I hope). Not sure what the road will show me this time, but I'm sure it's going to be okay. Think CLEAR PATHOLOGY!!!
And, once again, my Cup's Half Full -- and now it truly will be....................
To be continued!
Ciao, Ciao
