Today is the last day of my full 2nd week and so far so good! Still had been coughing and carrying on with my aftermath of some kind of virus, but apparently, I'm in good company with others. Either way, I have been going to my appointments. I had an exam with my radiolgy oncology doc on Wednesday. I really like having our meetings. It gives me a chance to ask all my little questions that have a way of creeping up. My joints have been "paining" me, but that is still leftovers of chemo. My hands are still swollen a bit -- post chemo. Everything seems to be POST chemo. Love it. I just want to be able to wear my wedding ring daily. I have placed it on my finger from time to time, but then I risk the issue of being able to pull it off my finger! Not fun, so I wear a band, which is fine, but I do love my ring and want it back on my finger. Soon enough -- PATIENCE.
Funny thing, I have lost a couple pounds since I've started radiation, but nothing that causes my treatment to change regarding the actual radiation beam. When a person begins radiation treatment (at least in my case) they don't want you to lose weight because it can change the way the radiation beam affects your tissues. The nuclear physicists calculate each patient's specific treatment in a very exacting way. But my little poundage loss is no biggy. But I am encouraged about the weight loss because of my inflammation going on. Tired of it. Want to move it forward -- a little while longer. Getting closer to being free of treatment. Can't wait!
This weekend I have to go into radiation treatment on Sunday due to the fact the office will be closed the day after Thanksgiving!!!! So we all get 4 days off. And I know my therapists need some time to recharge and be with their families, etc. I get to come in earlier on Sunday than normal which works for me! Jim and I will make a morning of it and take ourselves out for a breakfast date. Going to try a new little mom and pop restaurant in Vista that was recommended to us. So we'll make it a little adventure. So I will will have treatments Sunday through Wednesday this next week.
At this point, the only thing that is changing with this treatment so far is the tightness I'm feeling throughout my left breast area. It doesn't hurt, but I do believe the scar tissue is beginning to form. My expanders feel tighter. And once again, I cannot wait to get these expanders out of my body as well. They are a necessary evil for me for this reconstruction, but I don't want to go through this ever again. It's such a strange feeling I have in me at all times. I do ignore my uncomfortableness (is that a word?) but it's still there. Doesn't go away and cannot take it out when I'm tired of it. But in order to achieve what I wish for, this is necessary. So I guess, I cannot complain too much. Just an observation.
I've been keeping a constant prayer said for a friend of mine who was diagnosed recently with breast cancer. She had a lumpectomy this week and she has been in my constant prayers! It's such a clear reminder that we have to continue to be diligent big time with our lives. I do pray one day this deadly disease will be a thing of the past. That we will be able to look back at this and be able to breathe a sigh of relief for our sisters in the future. I don't talk much about this fact for the simple fact I'm in the midst of all this, but I do pray all the time for a cure. I may not wear the ribbon or the pink breast cancer awareness but that is only because I'm living this. I don't need to show it anymore than I already do. I'm rather subdued when it comes to that part of the breast cancer awareness campaign. But that is ME and that's how I roll! I don't judge anyone else who want to show their support by wearing hats, pins, magnets, shirts, pants, etc. But since I'm the white elephant in the room, I know--everyone else realizes I'm in some sort of treatment, etc. But that doesn't mean I don't care and don't do my own campaigning for a cure. Oh, on the contrary.
This is the time of year we are all getting really geared up to go head-on into the holidays. There are so many blessings that have been bestowed upon me and my family and I am so very THANKFUL! Mainly for a new beginning -- for my new LIFE -- for my new directions to come (even though I don't completely know exactly where they will lead me....) but I'm keeping the FAITH and HOPE alive! I SMILE big time in the face of Cancer. It hasn't gotten me. It's still NOT welcome EVER in my body and home! It's not WELCOME in any of my family and friends. It's just NOT WELCOME period! I continue to Kill it with kindness and Love. That is my commitment. It will always be my commitment from here on out.
My next step is to finally write that letter I need to write. I have it in my head but it's a step for me that I simply need to make the time for. I still get so emotional -- I still feel some angst and need to get rid of it. I do realize this will be healing for me. That's not the real point -- I just have to sit down and write it like I do this blog. But when I begin to handwrite it with ink to a few specific individuals, it will become so very real and final and I know I will be able to EXHALE finally! So maybe this weekend will be it. Stay tuned -- I will keep you posted when it's drafted and finished. Big sigh of relief and I know I will breathe with ease of flow.....I imagine myself sitting on a dock with my feet lightly stroking the water's edge with the sun beaming onto my face giving me the warmth I love -- that's how I imagine the freedom of writing this letter will be for me. So now I must do it! 'Just do it' as they say! I will.
My Cup's still Half Full and I'm stronger than ever.......... Watch out world. Lynn's on her way back.....
Ciao, Ciao!
Funny thing, I have lost a couple pounds since I've started radiation, but nothing that causes my treatment to change regarding the actual radiation beam. When a person begins radiation treatment (at least in my case) they don't want you to lose weight because it can change the way the radiation beam affects your tissues. The nuclear physicists calculate each patient's specific treatment in a very exacting way. But my little poundage loss is no biggy. But I am encouraged about the weight loss because of my inflammation going on. Tired of it. Want to move it forward -- a little while longer. Getting closer to being free of treatment. Can't wait!
This weekend I have to go into radiation treatment on Sunday due to the fact the office will be closed the day after Thanksgiving!!!! So we all get 4 days off. And I know my therapists need some time to recharge and be with their families, etc. I get to come in earlier on Sunday than normal which works for me! Jim and I will make a morning of it and take ourselves out for a breakfast date. Going to try a new little mom and pop restaurant in Vista that was recommended to us. So we'll make it a little adventure. So I will will have treatments Sunday through Wednesday this next week.
At this point, the only thing that is changing with this treatment so far is the tightness I'm feeling throughout my left breast area. It doesn't hurt, but I do believe the scar tissue is beginning to form. My expanders feel tighter. And once again, I cannot wait to get these expanders out of my body as well. They are a necessary evil for me for this reconstruction, but I don't want to go through this ever again. It's such a strange feeling I have in me at all times. I do ignore my uncomfortableness (is that a word?) but it's still there. Doesn't go away and cannot take it out when I'm tired of it. But in order to achieve what I wish for, this is necessary. So I guess, I cannot complain too much. Just an observation.
I've been keeping a constant prayer said for a friend of mine who was diagnosed recently with breast cancer. She had a lumpectomy this week and she has been in my constant prayers! It's such a clear reminder that we have to continue to be diligent big time with our lives. I do pray one day this deadly disease will be a thing of the past. That we will be able to look back at this and be able to breathe a sigh of relief for our sisters in the future. I don't talk much about this fact for the simple fact I'm in the midst of all this, but I do pray all the time for a cure. I may not wear the ribbon or the pink breast cancer awareness but that is only because I'm living this. I don't need to show it anymore than I already do. I'm rather subdued when it comes to that part of the breast cancer awareness campaign. But that is ME and that's how I roll! I don't judge anyone else who want to show their support by wearing hats, pins, magnets, shirts, pants, etc. But since I'm the white elephant in the room, I know--everyone else realizes I'm in some sort of treatment, etc. But that doesn't mean I don't care and don't do my own campaigning for a cure. Oh, on the contrary.
This is the time of year we are all getting really geared up to go head-on into the holidays. There are so many blessings that have been bestowed upon me and my family and I am so very THANKFUL! Mainly for a new beginning -- for my new LIFE -- for my new directions to come (even though I don't completely know exactly where they will lead me....) but I'm keeping the FAITH and HOPE alive! I SMILE big time in the face of Cancer. It hasn't gotten me. It's still NOT welcome EVER in my body and home! It's not WELCOME in any of my family and friends. It's just NOT WELCOME period! I continue to Kill it with kindness and Love. That is my commitment. It will always be my commitment from here on out.
My next step is to finally write that letter I need to write. I have it in my head but it's a step for me that I simply need to make the time for. I still get so emotional -- I still feel some angst and need to get rid of it. I do realize this will be healing for me. That's not the real point -- I just have to sit down and write it like I do this blog. But when I begin to handwrite it with ink to a few specific individuals, it will become so very real and final and I know I will be able to EXHALE finally! So maybe this weekend will be it. Stay tuned -- I will keep you posted when it's drafted and finished. Big sigh of relief and I know I will breathe with ease of flow.....I imagine myself sitting on a dock with my feet lightly stroking the water's edge with the sun beaming onto my face giving me the warmth I love -- that's how I imagine the freedom of writing this letter will be for me. So now I must do it! 'Just do it' as they say! I will.
My Cup's still Half Full and I'm stronger than ever.......... Watch out world. Lynn's on her way back.....
Ciao, Ciao!
