Not much to report other than so far so good. The first night after my 2nd treatment, I felt so full of chemo. I just felt full. Had a light dinner and all went well. They give me an anti-nausea injection into my IV before I leave so it stays in my system 4 days. It's a wonderful thing. The worse part of the prep for chemo is taking that Dexamethasone drug that is the anti-inflammatory/steroid. Well, this time I felt pretty aggressive with my personality and attitude. Wow. Not a good thing. I had to be very, very congnisant about sharing my opinion on anything. Not a good side to me at all. I take it the day before chemo, day of and day after. So today I am free from this drug till my next treatment. The drug will stay in my system for a couple more days obviously, but at least I should see it diminish out of my body soon. This drug is to prevent me from having an allergic reaction to my Taxorere chemo drug. You see, I'm only on 2 chemo drugs now. They took me off the Adrimyacin. So glad about that one. That was the most toxic chemo of all. What a reprieve. My doc/nurse also told me my side effects my even be less than the first go around which was pretty minor by comparison to what it could have been. So wish me luck with this one.
But I feel really good. I'm listening much closer to my body's needs. I drink fluids till I'm floating along. I do go to the bathroom a lot but it's worth it as long as I don't get dehydrated. I don't want another passing out episode like 3 weeks ago. My appetite is fine and I keep clean, healthy foods in me at all times. That is a very important part of all of this. Eat the best and the most bang for your food. Your body MUST be nourished. At least I feel it very clearly. My body really dictates to me what it wants. I mostly feel like I want protein and some carbs, but I keep up those vegies big time. Funny thing, I don't always want a salad, I want other things, so I indulge that way. Now, I'm not over stuffing myself. My portions are small. Really small, but I have to eat every 2 hours. It's what I need. If I don't, I get very lethargic and loopy, so I must pay attention.
I'm better with the resting part. That's yet another component to all this. Rest. Don't fight it. I really pay attention because if I don't, my color is washed out and I get weak. No fun. I don't like that feeling. I have better things I need to do. It also has affected my brain thought process. Some of the things I come up with are humorous to say the least, but I definitely have the chemo brain action going on periodically. I don't get too upset because I know this will be temporary.
As you probably already know my right arm clot is improving daily -- THANK GOD!! I can use it more without having to elevate. But I still ice periodically. Ice is my friend.
I never really share too much about my dogs, but I think I'll share a bit right now. My guys, Woody, who is my chocolate lab of 3 years and Chewy, my Morkie of 2.5 years are my bright rays of light. I cannot imagine NOT having my pals around me. They keep it in perspective for me. All they want to do is love me and Jim and whoever else is around. Although, Chewy can drive you to the brink with his barking explosions periodically since he is part Yorkie. Dear Gawd, my nerve endings go through the roof when he thinks the world is caving in around him for whatever reason. If I can catch him in time to stop the action with a little squirt gun I have, then it's ok. But a lot of that is wasted because he jets off so quickly, I don't get a chance at all to stop that action. But God love the little twirp, he comes back and settles in nicely and can be very good for hours on end without this explosions.
Woody, is my athletic guy and keeps the yard under his control. But he is my love of all loves. What a good boy he is. I take him for his walks into the field across the street from our home and let him run his heart out. He loves chasing all those cotton tails out there. He even goes after the ravens out there as well. By the end his tongue is hanging low and puffing away and I know it's then that I can call him back and he's very amiable to the prospect of it's time to head back. I don't take my long walks presently just because of what my arm has been going through, so I hope to be back to my regular walks pretty soon. I have the go ahead from the doc to go back to the gym and have some reasonable fun. No I'm not going to be trying to pump the heck out of weights, but I will work up to some good sweats, I'm sure. It's important to maintain a good exercise routine as much as possible. It helps with the fatigue and overall circulation and well-being for this fight with cancer. Oops, there's that word again.
So Jim if off having his time to recharge and recoop from all and I'm so happy he is doing this for himself. It's important that your partner, love, hubby, whoever is caring for you to have their time away so they can come back and deal with whatever may be thrown their way. He is trying so hard and doing so well with me and making my life that much easier to deal with because of his srength and labors of love. My daughter, Ash, stays on Thursdays and Fridays so this can happen. She, too, is dealing with her own health issues, and she has it in herself to help me out so much. Now, if that isn't devoted love, I don't know what else one can call it. My other daughter, Amy, is in Brussels, Belgium, so it's difficult for her to be here, but we Skype several times a week now and she will be here beginning the end of August through November, with her hubby, Loreto. So I'm overjoyed that we will have the time together soon. And, my Amy, will whip this place into shape big time upon her arrival! LOL!!! She's quite the chef now and I can't wait for some of her Italian original recipes. Yummo. She knows what I love. So all in all my world is pretty great. I have a lot of love from all of you too! If it weren't for the good words of encouragement and cards and care packages, I don't think I would have such a sense of calm and serenity that I do. It's really true. I just love all the words. It means everything to me.
When I'm out in public here now, people are asking how is my health doing? They are actually asking. Isn't that cool? I love it. Because that means people care. That's a big deal when you think about it. Because we don't have to acknowledge anything we don't want to. We go out, do our thing, get in our cars, think about whatever it is we need to be doing and go do it. But do we pay attention to what is happening around us for the most part? I think people are beginning to recheck themselves somewhat. Way cool and my hats off to that. However, it's not my intention to go out and think: SEE ME! SEE ME. That's not my thing, but it's lovely to see the genuine eye-contact sometimes I receive. The sincere look they give me into my eyes. That SMILE that can carry me the rest of my day. I mean before this, I smiled at people for no apparent reason except to show that I know they are there and that I hope their day is a better one, because I do know that a simple SMILE can sustain you with a lighter feeling inside your heart for awhile. But when it's happening to me now, I can't thank those individuals enough because for that moment it takes away the feeling of the fact I carry this INTRUDER in my body with me at all times -- 24/7 and I don't want it here anymore. And I know it's going to take time to get it out of me, but I still want it out of me. I want it out now. So that acknowlegement of a smile or a Hello helps me to reconfirm that I'm not DEFINED by this cancer. I'm still me. I have a life to live just like everyone else. I have goals, I have a brain (kind of), I have other things to offer to this world. I'm not wanting to be stagnant. Wow, one wouldn't necessarily think just from a smile it could make a person think of all these things, but it does when you have this kind of time to think. But I do feel it sincerely.
Ok. I think I've gotten heady enough for one day, but I obviously felt the need to get it out of me once again. It does help through this process.
I have the luxury to listen to my birds outside my back door and also listen to my beautiful windchimes I have strategically set out in several areas of my backyard. I get such joy from this. These birds down here in So. Cal in my backyard are fabulous to listen to. I can honestly say, I never ever get tired of listening to them. It's pretty Zen-like for me. Quite the nature's choir.
With that, my Cup's way more than half full right now. I'm the lucky one. Till later, I will send you all love back to you and Thank you again for caring and sending me all your love, support, prayers and positive healings. It's working! I'm living proof! And I plan to keep on proving it all the way to the other side of this!
Ciao, Ciao!
