For the last 5 days I've been feeling very strong. I have taken myself off sleeping pills to aid me at night. I'm sleeping much deeper and am able to dream once again, which is a good thing for me. I wake up well-rested and have started walking my dog, Woody, again out into a field beyond my neighborhood. I don't as far as I have prior to chemo, but at least I am walking more vigorously than I have been. It feels good to sweat because of good exertion.
My digestion continues to be a normal level which is a great thing for me overall. I have had no issues with heatburn which was pretty bad at the beginning of the 4th chemo, but have been able to watch the types of foods and liquids I've been ingesting. Surprisingly enough, I took a chance last night and went for Mexican food at a little restaurant in my daughter's town. I had a chili relleno and little rice and beans. I'm sure some are horrified to think I would try such a plate -- but I did. I was craving a good chili relleno and this particular restaurant: La Unica in Lake Elsinore has amazing food. All authentic and freshly made.
DEE-LISH!!! It is so wonderful to be able to TASTE the flavors. Sometimes during chemo patients will lose a sense of taste or things become very metallic tasting. My tastebuds have never gone to the metallic side, but have been very dulled and flavors are distorted. These days, I'm seemingly back to a sense of norm which is so exciting for me. That was my great dining experience for the night. But I won't do this often, but it felt good to be able to enjoy something I truly love.
I've still been taking rests when needed but I've noticed, once again, that I don't have to nap or drink as much fluid as I was needing. I'm still well-hydrated, but I'm not adding the extra because my body is not requiring it. One thing that is apparent, one must always listen to what their body is telling it needs. I've always been listening, but of course, through this process, it's been most imparative to do so -- if not, I have paid the consequences. I don't like to do that, so I continue to learn.
I was checking my underarm last night and still cannot find the tumor. So I'm pretty excited about what the chemo has done, but more than that, I'm sure all the prayers and good thoughts and positivity has been helping as well. I still get my feeling of big hugs coming my way. I still know I'm being supported big time by something bigger than me. It's very comforting for me.
Next week will be here soon enough. It's such a double-edged sword for me. I don't like the side effects from the chemo especially those first 4-5 days -- they are brutal -- but then again, it is my last one. I will get through this! I pray this will be the last chemo I ever have. I pray for clear pathology. Some people have to go through another few chemos in some cases. I pray I'm not one of them. I pray with all my being that this will not be the case. I pray for only CLEAR pathology! One would think that this poison called Chemo could get it all, but one never knows. I pray my cancer is almost gone and/or dying quickly. It will be gone after my bi-lateral mastectomy -- let it be contained and in a nice neat package for the surgeon to remove. When I had my breast MRI results given to me, my surgeon had stated to me that it was "uncomplicated". My tumors were within the confines of my cystic tissue of the left breast -- I have to pray that it's still like this. I do know the tumors within the breast are much smaller! I have to keep that forward motion of positivity to get me through this. It's difficult at times. Perhaps, I'm needlessly worrying -- I hope this is the case. I just have to hold onto the fact I'm in great hands, I'm healthy other than the cancer, I have a willingness to beat this and the most important thing of all: I have LOVE all the way around me. With those odds, I don't see how I can go wrong.
For now, I continue to live my life freer than I have pretty much ever-- and I will move forward and cross that bridge soon enough. I once again continue to ask for prayers and positivity and great energy to come my way and to my family. It's all felt and greatly appreciated. I thank my God everyday for all the LOVE I feel -- and I do feel it. THANK YOU!
My cup's half full!
Ciao, Ciao!
