Haven't wrote in a couple days but I really had nothing that is notable. I am waiting to hear back from my doctor about scheduling my removal of the port. And I certainly cannot wait till this happens. My body is really tired. Honestly, if it weren't for this clot issue in my right arm right now, I would be doing so well. But because of this issue, my body is working so much harder (heart) and I have to pretty much limit my physical activity because my arm is pretty much always purple which makes my skin very tight and my hand, once again, looks like I've been pumping iron. And I so wish I were pumping that iron. I'm beginning to notice some atrophy in my arms and legs. So frustrating. Anyway, I pretty much do what I can around the house such as a little laundry or try to make my bed or unload/load dishwasher, wash dishes by hand, etc., but it's not my usual routine. I hate, hate, hate this dependency feeling. Will have to address this issue soon because I can't expect Jim to be constantly keeping up the way I do around this house. He has other commitments going on. But we'll get it worked out.
So I had the most wonderful modified massage today. Thanks to my next door neighbor, Kelli, I was able to go to my appointment. What a star she is. She is my hero of the day! Without any kind of hesitation, that sweetie pie gave up a portion of her morning for me. What a love bug she is! We had a chance to have girl talk which was fun and for a brief period of time, I felt so normal. Thank you my love! You are my new star! KISSES!
My massage released some toxins from my body. I've really been flushing my system today which is a great thing. So, while I was hanging out this afternoon, I ran my fingers through my hair (which I haven't washed in a few days -- yes, I haven't oh well!) and I came out with a handful of HAIR. I've been trying to get myself prepared. I did pretty good overall. When I saw the cluster of hair, I said, "Uh, Oh, I got my question answered, I'm going to lose my hair afterall." Then I had a moment of needing to breathe a big cleansing breath. I didn't cry. I just started combing my fingers through my hair. I almost started to laugh. It's that or go into massive spasm crying which I'm really sick of. So I kept on laughing. What a FREAK of NATURE I am. Who laughs at losing their hair? No, I have no bald spots, but it's significantly thinner. I ended up texting my hubby first. He was so wonderful. I won't tell you his reply, but suffice it to say, he's going to make it all better. LOL. I asked him for his help to wash my hair upon his arrival home.
Jim get's home and into the shower we both go. Yup, we are fun that way. We're like a couple of Banobo's! LOL. Then it began with the shampooing. OH, DEAR GOD, clusters of hair. Now, understand this, I have a lot of hair. I mean a lot. And thank God for that, because I still have hair. But we got a lot of hair off my head. I had hair in places that it shouldn't be getting caught after rinsing my head. Then it happened, the little girl in me came out --- I blubbered. I buried my face into my hubby's chest. He's so amazing and so strong for me. It calmed me down again to let it out and feel what I was feeling -- sheer disgust and in awe that it's happening. I'm trying to visualize myself. Between my pimples and losing my hair, what a freaking BABE I am. He's the luckiest guy on the face of this earth! LOL!! I'm the whole package. LOL. I know, I can't help this feeling? He still loves me no matter what. If we can go through something like this with a sense of purpose and honor for one another, then I think we most definitely are on the right path. Plus, we've been happily married 28 years this June 25. Been together 29 years. Funny thing, which i have shared with many a friend, I was never going to get married, let alone be a mother. I truly didn't think any man could handle me or tolerate my very strong persona. As they say, "When you least expect it."
Yes, I had a brief marriage way back when I was 20 years old. It lasted a whole 10 months. So that one doesn't count. Jim and I have shared a lifetime so far together. Longer than we lived with our own families.
And we still LIKE each other. It's not to say we haven't had our difficulties, cuz we've had -- who hasn't, right? But through it all, we are stuck with one another gleefully! With that, my poor husband will be sleeping with a new baldy pretty soon -- and he isn't even balding! LOL~ Oh, well.
I'm now interested in know and will ultimately see, if my cranium is an ugly one or not? Oh, well, I will wear it well! LOL. I also have psoriasis around my scalp from time to time -- that's going to be interesting to see if that goes away. I hope it spares me more imperfections. But if not, this too shall pass.
Of course, I know all about the wigs, hats, scarves, etc. It's going to be blazing hot down here this summer. And, oh, yeah, I already have a DO RAG!!! LOL!!! Got that one from Patrick -- Ash's very special love in her life. So I'm good to go. For those who do not know, the scalp will be extremely sensitive so I need something as a buffer between my hat and scalp -- hence my DO RAG concept. LOL!!! We'll see. I might have to sport some interesting bandanas, and possible the wig. We'll see about that one. Who knows.
So there you have it. Yet another step. I continue to ask for your prayers and good and positive thoughts.
I feel them so much. It's amazing feeling. Everyday I am getting stronger emotionally. I just can't wait to get this foreign object out of my body now. Enough is enough. Will keep you posted.
Till then, my cup's half full!
Ciao, Ciao!
