Things have a way of changing in mid sentence these days. When you least expect something, BANG, there it is!
The last couple days have been a bit of a challenge for me. First off, my right arm began to turn a lovely eggplant color from the should down thru the hand. Obviously, there is some kind of impingement. This began on Sunday mid morning. I noticed the coloration and the fact my arm was tight feeling. Ached a bit,but not badly. My hand looked like I was pumping iron at all times. Lovely. I elevated it and it seemed to help.
But in the morning this situation wasn't turning around. I did notice around my port entrance area -- initial incision site, felt like random pinching from time to time.
I contacted my doctor -- Surgeon and my oncologist to let them know what was happening. Of course, this was in the afternoon, and I could not go on down to La Jolla to have them look. Well, I ended up there Tuesday instead because it was getting worse. My surgeon wanted me in first thing. You know what's simply amazing to me is that when I arrive into this office, I am ushered in within 5-10 minutes and PROMPTLY the doc comes into examine me. This has been every time! Simply wonderful. Talk about a thorough exam. I get sent downstairs for a venus doplar study. Basically, an ultrasound for my veins to see if there are any clots forming. My tech was a hoot! So funny to listen to her conversation to me. She really is a sharp little cookie, but it must get very lonely in her job at times because I swear she could talk to the ultra-sound wand and be able to keep herself amused. Anyway, finished that test -- it was about 20 minutes. The radiologist read it and then I was sent back up the tower to my doc. Turns out YES, I DO have a small clot in my superficial vein going down my right arm. NO, this is NOT life threatening. My body doesn't like the port being in my body essentially. My veins are fighting this fact and there are a lot of directions our veins travel in, so I have to have my blood thinned out a bit. I had to verify this with my oncologist and they administered a blood thinner -- Arixtra shot.This prevents any new clots from forming. Nice little cocktail they shoot into my FAT of my belly. Oh, what a dignified procedure. Not bad at all. Within minutes I could see my arm changing back to it's normal color, but I would need to keep it elevated and sleep with my arm elevated. Oh, joy. Then the next day I would begin taking a very small maintenance amount of Cumidin (1 mg) daily. One thing I have observed through this is how hard my body is working to keep up with this circulation problem. I'm sooooooooo very exhausted. I feel like a mack truck has taken me for a joy ride down the street against my will. Apparently, this is normal.
And, what I'm also learning is the fact my body is really working hard to dispell this cancer so it's constantly using up energy and consequently, I need and must eat frequently. I must also DRINK copious amounts of fluids at all times. This is such a learning curve for me. My sense of normal is out the window now. So I'm learning at all times what works for me and what doesn't work for me.
So the next morning rolls around. Now, remember I'm on the back side of the chemo treatment. It's trying to kill cancer and kill my good cells as well -- a lot of fighting going on in my body. So it must come out. Well, for the sake of argument, I will spare you all the gorey details of what happened next, but suffice it to say it was awful and for some very scary. For me, it wasn't scarey because I was semi-unconscious. Yes, I passed out but was cognizant enough to yell for Jim to help me. He held me and was loudly trying to get me to respond, which I did some of the time but apparently, there were 2 occasions which I was non-responsive. I remember hearing him and just not caring one way or another. I even felt a little bugged by the fact he was so demanding of my attention. LOL!!! Crazy stuff. When this was all said and done, I was white as a ghost and we were on the phone to my surgeon. Needless to say, I was loaded up with a nightbag in hand and on the way to his office and possibly going to be admitted into La Jolla Medical Center for more tests.
We arrive and I began yet another very thorough exam by my surgeon. Talk about concerned. He was checking every minute detail and asking very every little detail. This man ROCKS!! He took my BP standing as well as lying down. There was a big descrepancy -- meaning I was thoroughly DEHYDRATED. See, the body really works on overdrive when it's out of balance. He thoroughly examined the port location. He truly felt it doesn't neet to be removed. I need to get the thinner in my bloodstream for a few days and allow my body to continue to adjust. He and my oncologist were in communication while I was there. It's much better for me to get the fluids into my body the "old fashioned way" rather than having them give me an IV. The body absorbs the fluids much better this way and allows itself to normalize. Okey-dokey.
He felt that I'm in no danger and that my body will continue to work.
Now the Biggest and best news of all..........................
I told my surgeon that I feel that my tumor has already shrunk. I wanted him to exam my axillary and my breast. So he did. He was like a kid in a candy store. He was feeling my tumor in my armpit and exclaimed, "Oh, my, this most definitely have shrunk. It's 1/3 the size already it was." YIPPEE SKIPPEE!!!! I, too, feel this. It's more marble-like and harder. Not squishy and swollen feeling. So all this other crap almost seemed to disappear before my eyes when he validated my conclusion. It's starting to work and my body is responding. And this is the only first treatment. I have 5 more to go. OH, God, I know it may become even more difficult with the side effects, but I need this positive results from time to time.
So he sent us home. Needless, to say, I must drink, drink, drink, at all times; keep my mini meals a flowing and rest when I need to. I'm behind a couple days at this point, but I will bounce back. I slept for a couple hours upon arriving home. Poor Jim and Ash are such troopers. They are so stressed and dealing with this anxiety with the greatest of commitment and never-ending love. I know I have the best family on the face of this earth.
I was able to SKYPE briefly with my youngest daughter, Amy, in Belgium before we lost our signal. I can't imagine her anxiety of always not really knowing what is happening. But it helped her and it helped me to see one another. I love SKYPE. Love, love, love it! But we'll SKYPE again later but for now, it was the shot in the arm I needed to complete me for the afternoon.
It's amazing how well one feels once they are rehydrated. Wow. Such a believer now. The rest of the day was spent walking around the house and sitting with my arm elevated. Went to bed at 10pm trying to get back on a normal schedule of sorts. But I woke up at 3:30am. My body is still dispelling chemo out of me so I have to do what I have to do, if you catch my drift.
This morning I'm by myself. I made a high protein breakfast, made juice with my juicer and am catching you all up with this.
I plan to go out later with my daughter because it's essential I walk and circulate, but I know I will have to rest thoroughly again later on today. But I must do this. I need and should be as normal as possible even though the fatigue can weigh heavily on the body. Thank goodness, it's going to be in the 80's today. It's sunny which keeps my spirits up. I'm much more up than I have been for the past couple days. I hit some low, low points. And I know it may happen again. Most likely. I really hate those down feelings, but they are part of the journey. SUCKS~!
But my tumors are shrinking! There is shrinkage in a good way! LOL!
To all of you, I love you and thank you once again for loving me back. I'm the luckiest woman!
Hugs, kisses and good positive thoughts come your way!
Yes, my Cup is still half full.
Ciao!
