I figured since it's been awhile I should write down some thoughts I've had since the last time I've written.
I have gone to my plastice surgeon and all is healing well. He is very happy with how my chest looks with the incision marks acrossed each breast -- meaning they are healing well from when I had my bi-lateral mastectomy. And at that time, the chest expanders were placed under my chest muscle. Since August 29, 2011, I've had these expanders in my body. They have been very pinchy and uncomfortable at different times. I've had to modify the way I move my upper chest area. It feels like I have some kind of armor wear on my chest at all times. Of course, I can breathe easily -- no issues that way. It's just uncomfortable at times with certain movements. My doctor told me I would have these expanders in me now for about 6 - 12 months more. I know there is the curiosity: Why so long?
I'm still healing! I have been through a lot and all my tissues inside my chest area need time. I have been toxified with Chemo, I've been cut and then RADIATED. So my body needs time. As much as I am wanting my new boobies, I realize it's more important for complete healing inside as well as outside. More importantly: INSIDE. I'm doing well with my overall emotional side of things -- dealing with being "in between" kind of having boobs and not being finished with reconstruction. But I have all the confidence in my doc and his staff that all will work out. He's a very meticulous person and very refined at making the best decisions regarding how I should be "put back together." That's exactly what I want. I hear and read about the opposite happening to other women and I, once again, feel very lucky as to how I've been treated during this whole ordeal.
I will see my doctor again in about 6 weeks to see how I am progressing with the healing from my radiation -- skin color changes, texture; seeing if there are issues that will pop up.
I guess I want to expand on the healing process because I'm not sure how it is for other females, but for me I'm feeling so much better but at this stage it's rather misleading. Meaning: Yes, I'm feeling better, getting into normal life "somewhat" but I'm still not back to normal. I have explained it to my family this way: I feel like this horse that is ready to run the race - I'm in the gate ready for it to be opened, and I'm pressing up against that gate because I want to break through and run the race of my life. I want to GO! I hope that makes sense, but that's how I feel daily. Then the more logical side of me realizes that if I go crazy out of the gates - I could end up hurting myself. And I don't want to go backwards at all! I've come this far and I don't want to ruin it for myself.
My radiation burn has almost completely healed with the exception of one little patch of skin that is taking its sweet time healing. I still will get "shooters" through my left breast area and armpit area (axillary) from the radiation. Yes, you still cook weeks and weeks after radiation. And I have to say: It's not a fun time getting those shooters. Wow, sometimes, they almost take my breath away.
My fingernails have almost completely healed. On both hands, my ring fingers and pinkies have been the very last 4 nails to completely heal. Such a strange thing to watch. No, it doesn't hurt at all. Just weird to see how slow they heal -- maybe it isn't slow -- not sure if others have this same thing occur.
My eyelashes are growing still. They are filling in nicely and getting thicker. They aren't as long as they used to be -- once again, not sure if they will continue to get longer at this point. I have read that they can still fall out and then regenerate several times before they become more permanent. I have noticed this occurring with my lower lid eyelashes -- not so much with my upper lid eyelashes. My eyebrows are filling in but they are most definitely lighter, but they are still growing in. I have no desire to tattoo them in until I have fully healed. I have the option to pencil additional color in if I want. I haven't gotten into that too much just because I don't care enough to do so. LOL!!
My hair is growing like a weed! OMG, what a mop I've got growing back in. I'm not complaining at all, it's just an observation! And, the color is GREY and BLACK and BROWN. So funny. Looking pretty good. Most people love my hair as they think I had it cut this way (styled, I should say!) So great! It makes me feel more "normal" that it's not as obvious to others that this was a NUKE job rather than a STYLED hairdo! LOL!! I have this paste hair product and I add it to my hair so I get the effect of my hair standing on end -- rather edgy looking. I look very artsy. Loving it! If I have to be this way, I'm going to make the most of it. And I'm going to wear it well as they say! Why not? I want to feel good about myself and I'm enjoying this new look.
I have started a new workout program with a wonderful Physical Therapist here in Temecula called Perpetual Motion Physical Therapy. Dr. Rey is monitoring me closely as I begin a new workout program to bring me back to a level of health. Monitoring my heart rate, making sure I don't pass out onto the floor; getting me more flexible. I still need to do more YOGA. That is an all round great workout -- mind, body, spirit. And one never realizes how much you are working out till you are into it. It's amazing.
My hubby and I have a new bed -- well, we had to file a warranty claim on our Tempurpedic because it had literally caved in well beyond our body contours -- we've been sleeping in holes for months now. Anyway, they have a great warranty program. I filed all the necessary papers, photos, etc. Then I received notification that we would be receiving a whole new complete bed! That means, base unit and the mattress. The newer models are 40 lbs. heavier! But we have a great frame, so we don't worry. Needless to say, we are very happy campers and we both are sleeping so much better. It's amazing what a good mattress makes for overall good health! My energy level is booming big time. I love the fact I'm feeling better and better! My body is beginning to respond so much better to the exercise. My inflammation is starting to reduce. FINALLY!!! I have a long way to go, but it's beginning to work!
I'm sure on my next blog I will be addressing a certain amount of issues I'm beginning to face -- meaning, catching up with my thoughts on what has transpired in the last few months going through all these changes. It's pretty overwhelming at times, but for the most part I'm really emotionally healthy and I know it's because I pray so much and I am able to share with those who want to listen. (poor them! LOL!!) Either way, it's very real and I try to take it day by day only. Can't look too far into the future.
Yes, my Cup's Half Full and hanging in there.
Ciao!
I have gone to my plastice surgeon and all is healing well. He is very happy with how my chest looks with the incision marks acrossed each breast -- meaning they are healing well from when I had my bi-lateral mastectomy. And at that time, the chest expanders were placed under my chest muscle. Since August 29, 2011, I've had these expanders in my body. They have been very pinchy and uncomfortable at different times. I've had to modify the way I move my upper chest area. It feels like I have some kind of armor wear on my chest at all times. Of course, I can breathe easily -- no issues that way. It's just uncomfortable at times with certain movements. My doctor told me I would have these expanders in me now for about 6 - 12 months more. I know there is the curiosity: Why so long?
I'm still healing! I have been through a lot and all my tissues inside my chest area need time. I have been toxified with Chemo, I've been cut and then RADIATED. So my body needs time. As much as I am wanting my new boobies, I realize it's more important for complete healing inside as well as outside. More importantly: INSIDE. I'm doing well with my overall emotional side of things -- dealing with being "in between" kind of having boobs and not being finished with reconstruction. But I have all the confidence in my doc and his staff that all will work out. He's a very meticulous person and very refined at making the best decisions regarding how I should be "put back together." That's exactly what I want. I hear and read about the opposite happening to other women and I, once again, feel very lucky as to how I've been treated during this whole ordeal.
I will see my doctor again in about 6 weeks to see how I am progressing with the healing from my radiation -- skin color changes, texture; seeing if there are issues that will pop up.
I guess I want to expand on the healing process because I'm not sure how it is for other females, but for me I'm feeling so much better but at this stage it's rather misleading. Meaning: Yes, I'm feeling better, getting into normal life "somewhat" but I'm still not back to normal. I have explained it to my family this way: I feel like this horse that is ready to run the race - I'm in the gate ready for it to be opened, and I'm pressing up against that gate because I want to break through and run the race of my life. I want to GO! I hope that makes sense, but that's how I feel daily. Then the more logical side of me realizes that if I go crazy out of the gates - I could end up hurting myself. And I don't want to go backwards at all! I've come this far and I don't want to ruin it for myself.
My radiation burn has almost completely healed with the exception of one little patch of skin that is taking its sweet time healing. I still will get "shooters" through my left breast area and armpit area (axillary) from the radiation. Yes, you still cook weeks and weeks after radiation. And I have to say: It's not a fun time getting those shooters. Wow, sometimes, they almost take my breath away.
My fingernails have almost completely healed. On both hands, my ring fingers and pinkies have been the very last 4 nails to completely heal. Such a strange thing to watch. No, it doesn't hurt at all. Just weird to see how slow they heal -- maybe it isn't slow -- not sure if others have this same thing occur.
My eyelashes are growing still. They are filling in nicely and getting thicker. They aren't as long as they used to be -- once again, not sure if they will continue to get longer at this point. I have read that they can still fall out and then regenerate several times before they become more permanent. I have noticed this occurring with my lower lid eyelashes -- not so much with my upper lid eyelashes. My eyebrows are filling in but they are most definitely lighter, but they are still growing in. I have no desire to tattoo them in until I have fully healed. I have the option to pencil additional color in if I want. I haven't gotten into that too much just because I don't care enough to do so. LOL!!
My hair is growing like a weed! OMG, what a mop I've got growing back in. I'm not complaining at all, it's just an observation! And, the color is GREY and BLACK and BROWN. So funny. Looking pretty good. Most people love my hair as they think I had it cut this way (styled, I should say!) So great! It makes me feel more "normal" that it's not as obvious to others that this was a NUKE job rather than a STYLED hairdo! LOL!! I have this paste hair product and I add it to my hair so I get the effect of my hair standing on end -- rather edgy looking. I look very artsy. Loving it! If I have to be this way, I'm going to make the most of it. And I'm going to wear it well as they say! Why not? I want to feel good about myself and I'm enjoying this new look.
I have started a new workout program with a wonderful Physical Therapist here in Temecula called Perpetual Motion Physical Therapy. Dr. Rey is monitoring me closely as I begin a new workout program to bring me back to a level of health. Monitoring my heart rate, making sure I don't pass out onto the floor; getting me more flexible. I still need to do more YOGA. That is an all round great workout -- mind, body, spirit. And one never realizes how much you are working out till you are into it. It's amazing.
My hubby and I have a new bed -- well, we had to file a warranty claim on our Tempurpedic because it had literally caved in well beyond our body contours -- we've been sleeping in holes for months now. Anyway, they have a great warranty program. I filed all the necessary papers, photos, etc. Then I received notification that we would be receiving a whole new complete bed! That means, base unit and the mattress. The newer models are 40 lbs. heavier! But we have a great frame, so we don't worry. Needless to say, we are very happy campers and we both are sleeping so much better. It's amazing what a good mattress makes for overall good health! My energy level is booming big time. I love the fact I'm feeling better and better! My body is beginning to respond so much better to the exercise. My inflammation is starting to reduce. FINALLY!!! I have a long way to go, but it's beginning to work!
I'm sure on my next blog I will be addressing a certain amount of issues I'm beginning to face -- meaning, catching up with my thoughts on what has transpired in the last few months going through all these changes. It's pretty overwhelming at times, but for the most part I'm really emotionally healthy and I know it's because I pray so much and I am able to share with those who want to listen. (poor them! LOL!!) Either way, it's very real and I try to take it day by day only. Can't look too far into the future.
Yes, my Cup's Half Full and hanging in there.
Ciao!
