4th PET SCAN Over and Done

I just came home from my 4th PET Scan @ Scripps Medical Center. 
My morning started at 2:15am with a snack since I cannot eat anything for 6 hours prior to my scan.  My scan was at 10:30am, but I awoke well in time for something to snack on. So I had a half a banana, an itty-bitty slice of lean meat and then a handful of raw almonds.  Then chugged water.  I woke up again at 4:15am still in time to eat something, but decided my sleep was more important at this point.  Got up @ 7am and began my day.

Took off to the hospital with my hubby. He's such a great support and I KNOW how lucky I am to have such great support when others out there don't ever have anyone go to the doctor with them let alone to a test such as this one. But he's always there for me.  He's wonderful!

Drove down to La Jolla without any incident, thank GOD.  Traffic was pretty decent at this time of morning.  No idiots darting in and out of traffic.

Upon arrival to the pavillion my testing takes place at on this medical center campus, I had to do my usual paperwork, but before long, Mark, my technician came out to get me.  I hadn't even ingested my 1 quart of lovely liquid.  Mark told me we could get it all done in the back this time.  So off we went with all my stuff in hand and waving at my hubby as I left the waiting area.  Thank goodness I have my knitting or crocheting projects with me whenever I go to a docs office now. It keeps me sane and calm. 

Got to the back and immediately get situated with my warming blanket that has a blower attached to it that keeps you nice and toasty warm cuz they have to keep everything back there practically at sub-zero degrees. Keep germs/bacteria from growing..........I can deal with the cold as well as the warm. My body is always so warm these days since I'm "menopausing."  ARGGGHHH.....But I embrace it rather than complain about it.  It is what it is, right?

Mark had to take my blood sugar level to begin with by pricking my finger. I was fine. Can't perform this test if I am diabetic - may give false positives.  Then he had to start a port in my arm so he could inject the radioactive material -- the contrast -- into my veins called:  Omnipaque. No, it doesn't burn, hurt or anything.  Just gets main-lined into my body. The idea is that it will highlight any cancer that may be in my body/organs.
So, of course, being who I am, I start my mantra/praying that it's not going to stick to anything.  It's going to go through my body and right back out!  While I was there I did pee a few times!  I know, TMI, but you get the gist of it, right?  After he injected the contrast, he removed the port from my arm. Then, this was a first for me, he asked me if I wanted crystal lite in my 1 quart of fluid to help ingest it better!  Wow, I was so thrilled to find out they offer this now!  Simple things make me so happy, I know. So I chose the lemonade flavor!  Have to smile...or even giggle...I did both.

When he brought my "cocktail" to me, we toasted to a successful test and I ingested that quart down with no problem.  I downed it in less than 5 minutes.  It was really tasty.  WHATEVER,  RIGHT?  Like I said before, simple pleasures.  Hey, if you have to go through this type of procedure, you want it in the easiest way possible. 
Then I sat there for 45 minutes till it was well absorbed into my body along with the contrast.

I sat there in my easy chair all toasty warm crocheting my latest afghan.  I love, love, love my zen with knitting and crocheting.  Anyway, before I knew it, it was time to go get into the cat scan machine and close my eyes and go to my happy place for 35 minutes.  They play this background music for distraction purposes -- it was very native american sounding -- loved it.  made it easier for me to go to my happy place.  After it was finished, I was escorted out of room, met up with Mark my technician which he said to me, go out and enjoy the rest of your day. Your doctor will have the results by tomorrow.  As I said my good-byes, I had to exhale and walk out with my dignity still in tact.  No big whoop, right?  Let's keep praying nothing is trying to come back.  But once again, in my heart of hearts, I know nothing is there.  How could it come back when I had some major drugs and radiation pulsated through my body.  I know there is that possibility, but I choose to be only HOPEFUL!  I can't be going through all this for nothing. I can't.  I feel it in my soul.  Either way, it's done and finished and the results are in.  I wonder what it must be like for the doctor to read all these results and make determinations in peoples lives each and everday. Meanwhile, we, the patient, sit and wonder or we do our best to distract ourselves and try to maintain our daily lives without getting too caught up in the unknown.  What a process.  What a journey for all. It's true that it takes a community................

So Jim and I got in the car and swifty drove to Little Italy in San Diego. My first time there.  It was really wonderful and relaxing.  We were going to go to a trendy restaurant when we passed by a cool little pizzeria. It was so much like Italy that I had to stop there and order a couple slices. YUMMO!  We sat on the sidewalk munching away. Finally, my blood sugar level was back to it's norm!  I had food in me!  My perspective was back on track.  Hadn't eaten since 2:15am and was grateful I had done that but i was way empty of nutrients.
After our meal we found out about an Italian bakery. We eventually found it and went in for the kill on cookies!  YUMMO!  Oh, boy did I enjoy a good cookie! 

Our drive home was much more blissful, I have to say, then going down to my test.  And I'm a firm believer of making sure to do something good for oneself after any kind of test or appointment when it can be stressful.  So that's my thing to do for the day. 

Since I've been home, I've slowly but surely have felt the emotional letdown of the day. I didn't do anything in my normal way, but am bushed.  It's in my head, I realize, but I go with it and am now writing my thoughts down whether anyone cares or now. It's, once again, for me to get it out of me and my body/head. Have to. But the good news is I am looking forward................in the future..............Tomorrow I continue on getting ready for my husband's 50th birthday party.  Having a small gathering but it's still organization of foods, drinks, and stuff.....Can't wait for his day and see his smiling face enjoy. That gives me pleasure big time to know I can feel like I can do something for him and stand in the background watching him enjoy his party with his new friends.  And I love the fact he's FINALLY 50!  Yes, I'm the older woman in his life -- I'm his cougar.  LOL!!

Cups staying Half Full. Till my results come in. Please keep us in your prayers and good thoughts.

Ciao, Ciao!

New PET SCAN Schdeduled

Thought while I was thinking about it, I would write an update.

I just received my scheduled appointment for my PET Scan.  It will be May 31 @ 10:30am -- Scripps.  They are so wonderful there at that particular part of the medical center.  I can't say I'm looking forward to drinking my radioactive drink -- 1 quart of that lovely substance, but I can down that stuff now with the best of them!  Doesn't taste like anything -- has a slight sweetness to it so it's palatable.  You wait 45 minutes for the liquid to travel throughout your body and hopefully NOT ATTACH itself to any cancer cells!  It's attracted to glucose in your body which is where cancer likes to attach itself. 

Even though I feel wonderful and believe in my heart I'm still cancer free, that little voice creeps in and starts it's own mantra of sorts with the I wonder IF.............. Do you think it may be there? Could it be again? What if................

But then I get pissy and stop that nonsense. I am human afterall and I fall from time to time.  So I ask this out there in cyber space:  CONTINUE YOUR PRAYERS.  CONTINUE YOUR MANTRAS whatever they may be.  But I am asking, keep me and my family in your prayers,  good thoughts, good energy and postive affirmations -- it never hurts to ask, right?  So I'm asking.  All of you who have heard me in the past have been the best at giving back and I am eternally grateful for all of it!  I hope I can give back more as well.

Once again, this is part of the process after going through cancer treatments. And I'm with a group of doctors that are extremely PRO-ACTIVE and I LOVE IT!  I feel lucky beyond comprehension that I have such an amazing group of professionals -- not just the doctors, but all their staff members who work so diligently to do their best for their patients.  They deserve the extra kudos!

Anyway, I will receive my results in a 24 hr turn around period -- not sure if my doc will call me on the weekend, but I'll be happy to hear it on Jim's Birthday, which is Monday, June 4.  It will be a double celebration, right?  Gotta keep the faith and the positive energy flowing NO MATTER WHAT!  And if I freak out a bit, oh, well, I will then get back up and begin again. Or go do some more Yoga!  LOL

Ok. Done for now. Keeping the Cup Half Full ~ STILL!

Ciao, Ciao

I'm Still Here!

It certainly has been awhile since I've made time to write here.  Once again, I always question:  Why would anyone want to read my blog?  But it's amazing how many friends tell me they want me to write. 
Ok, since some of you are requesting something, I will begin or continue to write even if it seems mundane and non-sensicle (word?) Either way, I will try to bring you all up to speed.....

Up till today, all I've been doing is trying to live my life normal -- whatever that means.  I've been creating routines -- that's been a big help for me.  It's interesting for me to observe what my life used to be and now how it really is...... I begin my day by feeding my dogs.  I then make sure to do some sort of exercise.  YOGA is proving itself to be the way to heal for me.  It's helping me to not only get centered, but it's helping me physically to get my flexibility back and there's some pounds beginning to shed.  All those months of not moving really seized my body. My pelvis and lower back were stiffening up to the point where I was walking like a person who had "issues."  This regular regime of yoga is helping me big time. I'm able to stretch  the way I could when I was in great shape.  While doing yoga routines, I sweat like a pig!  I feel the toxins being released and it feels so good to lighten that load out of my body.  I have many challenges considering I still have those lovely "expanders" in my chest. They pinch me when I perform certain twists and turns.  I will have those in  till 2013.  Seems like a long time, but remember, I'm still healing.  Yes, I may be looking more "normal" and acting more "normal" but I'm far from "normal."  It's a harsh reality for me to admit that and to even say it out loud. But it's going to take me months to get my complete energy back; but I have to say, I'm on the road.........I love the fact that I'm not having to take naps now.  I rest around 3:30pm each day for about 1/2 hour.  I MUST listen to my body.  If I don't, I pay the price big time by not having energy the next day to go about my business.  And for me to be able to do normal activities is essential. 

I want to and continue to strive for relevance.  That's why it's so important for me to have routines.  My mornings are filled, thank God!  I can do all my housework now without issues.  Because of my exercising and routines, I can bend and stoop and lift some heavier things easier now. Yay!  I know what I should and should not be doing.  I have nothing to prove to anyone.  And I think I have my ego in check pretty much now.  I don't hesitate to ask someone at the grocery store to help me, if I need it.  But for the most part, I don't need assistance. 

My hair has grown so quickly.  Wow!  I've had 2 haircuts now.  I've even had it "thinned."  Can you believe that one?  Thinned out!  Love that.  My hair is a bit darker now, but I'm still salt/pepper looking; and I love it.  I think I will grow out my hair to get some kind of bob cut, but we'll see. I really like the no-fuss short hair cut I'm sporting.  And I always wear my earrings.  My eyelashes are still growing and falling out from time to time.  That's part of the healing process.  My eyebrows are still thin, but I see evidence of new growth all the time.  My skin is bright and clear -- it's the healthiest it's ever been.  I have to say, I do look good.  But I still haven't updated, my picture on this site just because I keep forgetting.  Even though I forget, I have to say, my brain cells are regenerating!  Thank you, God!
It's getting better regarding my memory loss.  I do little brain teasers to help myself remember.  I can forget simple conversations, which is so strange and unconcerting to say the least.  But it's getting fewer and farther in between memory losses.  I don't dwell ~~ I go onto the next.  It seems to work best for me this way. 

I had to go to my radiology oncologist today down in Vista, CA.  Love her!  She's the bomb! Even though I don't like going to these appointments because it's a reminder to me that I've had cancer -- I still like seeing the staff.  They are amazing professionals who really care and do their jobs so well.
My doc examined me thoroughly.  It's not just having a conversation; she really checks me out very thoroughly.  My radiation scars are doing well, but she did tell me today that one area where my skin was completely desquimated will probably stay light the way it has healed.  Then there is another little area at the base of my neck that is darker -- that too, may stay this way.  Either way, I'm not tramatized by this fact.  To me it's like: Oh, well........Could be worse.  My doc told me she's in AWE of me. I was rather shocked by her comment.  I don't think of myself ever moving anyone in that manner.  She shared with me that so many people don't stay up-beat or have positivity in their life the way I do.  I shared back with her that if there tables were turned, you, too, would be moving forward and doing all that you could do to improve your fight with cancer.  But she told me she wasn't so sure if she could or not.  But that she appreciates my ability to view life the way I do.  That was so amazingly nice for her to share with me.  It truly moves me deeply, but I still feel that anyone would do what I've been doing.  I'm not so special -- I'm me who wants to LIVE and live a long time, I hope with all my being. 

I think of myself sometimes as being a big baby about things.  Sometimes I pay way too much attention to the creaks and cracks in my overall health.  I think sometimes I think way too much; I think sometimes I get way too much up into my head. But that's what makes me human............That's why I keep myself so busy.  I hate it when I allow myself to over-think. 

I'm looking forward to figuring out what I want to do with my life when I grow up.  Not making too much head-way presently.  I know it's supposed to "show itself" to me some day, but there is that side of me that is a control freak still -- and I want some answers NOW.  I think many of us can relate to that, right?  Either way, I am still learning patience and being in the present moments. For the most part, I love my life!  I'm happier than I've ever been and  I like myself so much better than ever and I know I still have so much to live and accomplish.  So we'll see.  Something, please show yourself someday to me!  LOL!! For now I continue to knit and crochet (still my ZEN!!!!); I garden and am learning about succulents and cacti. I dance around whenever I feel like it; And I laugh whenever possible; I keep on hanging with my dogs and am making new friends.  There are some special women in my life now -- whether they realize it or not, they keep me in check and I'm allowing myself to be a better friend.  My amazing and wonderful hubby is still my rock and always will be.  But the cool thing is, I find myself becoming his rock once again, too!  And, of course, my daughters are simply amazing people.

It astounds me how quickly time passes by and I can say I make the best of it.  Looking forward on this journey and looking forward to see what the next chapters are.  Maybe the next time I write, I will have something more interesting to share. 

I still feel overall my Cup's Half Full. 
Ciao, Ciao!