What a day!

As the title states: What a day. Yes, indeed, it was quite the day.  I met my new surgeon, Dr. Paul Hyde.
OMG are the only words I can say!  OH, MY GOD!!!  I still cannot believe how I've landed here with these amazing doctors and amazing people that keep on coming into our lives.  If it weren't for the nuclear medicine doctor making this high recommendation for me to contact Dr. Hyde, I would never have met this genius! 
This man was voted the number #1 doctor in America by his medical community of peers for 2006-2007.  With that said, he is not a premadonna.  He came into my exam room, introduced himself and then proceeded to meet my "team:, Jim and Ash.  Then he began with the basic questions as to how I landed here with him.   I explained and then he went into a full-on exam of my chest and upper body area.  What an exam.  It was very thorough -- different, yet again.  I am finding each doc "has their way of discovery."  But this man did not treat me like a piece of meat or just another patient.  From the beginning, he was empathetic, LISTENED -- completely present. Boy, did he interrogate.  I let him know before he asked that I had never had a biopsy till recently, March 11, 2011.  He wanted to know what the course of action had been up to meeting him.  I told him I needed to have a port placed somewhere on my chest so I may begin Chemo.  We told him what we knew up this point. Some doctors only deal with their "own" team of experts; but he wanted to know what I wanted and what I was willing to do or NOT do, etc.  He made no assumptions, which I really appreciated.  He most definitely wanted to speak with my current oncologist.  We also explained to him we really believe my current Oncologist is amazing as well -- a salt of the earth -- as well as many other important components set him apart from the average doc.(oncologist, that is)  However, we also reiterated that if his own team of oncologists have other recommendations that would benefit my overall cure from cancer then by all means, we would do or go where we need to go.  I am keeping all my options open.  So he's fully aware we are flexible and want the best treatment for my type of cancer.  So he will let me know probably tomorrow or next week as to what he found out through conversation with his people and then my oncologist. 
He also explained to me how he would place the port which was not explained to me before.  He makes sure the port is placed entering from under my right armpit area so as not to make a huge scar that will not potentially heal properly. The port will be just under my skin below my collarbone connected to a vein which will in turn be the catalyst for my chemo treatment.   He does these types of ports about 3-4 times a week; so the man knows what he's doing. Of course I will have to be careful, not get hit, watch out when playing with my big dog, Woody, etc.  This procedure will take an hour and I will be doing it TOMORROW. Friday, April 1, 2011. NO THIS IS NOT April Fool's day. 
When he first asked me if I wanted it done or Monday, I said Monday.  What a knee-jerk reaction!  I'm trying not to do that!  Putting it off, that is!  Oh, dopey me.  My family -- my "team" heard that come out of my mouth, you could have heard a pin drop in the room.  Then their faces said it all.....The look of WHAT?????  Then the doc suggested, not demanded, but suggested that maybe it would be a good thing to have it done tomorrow because it would give me a couple days of rest and healing so that next week I can begin my CHEMO............OH, yeah, the eyes began to fill up.  It was my reality check yet again...........
Dr. Hyde looked at me and asked me why I wanted to wait and all I could say was, "I am still coming to grips with the fact I have Cancer. I guess I don't know any other reason."  About that time I started to get pretty choked up.  He could see the softer, big time marshmallow melting before his eyes quickly.  You know what he did?  He came over to me and hugged me and told me everything I needed and wanted to hear.  He told me I was a strong person that he could see this; that I was a positive person; that I have a very strong support system and that this was going to be a hard journey for me, BUT I will come out of this just fine and be able to move on with my life! I literally clutched onto him.  I didn't do the UGLY cry, but I did clutch onto this man.  All I could say was, "OK. Let's do this tomorrow. I can do this.  I know I can." 

Because he is extremely thorough, I was then able to be scheduled at Scripps Hospital for an MRI w/ dye for my breasts.  He wants to know EXACT sizes and locations of the tumor because I will ultimately be having a bilateral masectomy.  Yes, I am.  I am NOT going to mess around with any potential reoccurances. I don't want to do this again 10-15 years down the road.  NO Way!  Each woman has her own choice/journey/decisions to make regarding this.  For me, it's very clear -- I must level this playing field out so I can have the rest of my life with my husband, future grand children and the new travels and relationships I will be building on.  So there.  There is also some type of blood test that no one has had me do yet, but was taken today also. I must learn more about it but it has to do with all the hormone levels.  Will get back to that one at a later date.   Man, when this man wants something, it gets done now.  I was then scheduled @ 2:15pm today for my MRI downstairs at Scripps.  We had a 2 hr break and went into La Jolla for lunch then down to the beach area.  Funny thing is, I was totally calm and not sick to my stomach with worry.  I know I'm supposed to go through this.  It was so fun to be in an incredibly amazing little city.  The food was soooooo dee-lish.  Then we went to the edge where all the sea lions were hanging out.  It felt good to get back to the coast.  Oh, yeah,  and it was 80 degrees at the coast today.  GORGEOUS. I kept on drinking in the air.  Breathing in the Breath of Life.  So true for me. So true.

So I got back to my MRI area. The nurse came to get me, made me feel very comfortable and made me laugh.  What a character she was.  Apparently, she has also worked with Dr. Oz because she is from back east. She placed and IV in my right arm for a dye that would be administered via a high tech machine I would ultimately be hooked up to. I was then ushered into this room where this huge CAT Scan /MRI unit was waiting for me.  Now here comes the funny part.
I had to get up onto this bed facing down. I had 2 gowns with the open end facing the front - so I could "expose myself" --  It was like lying down when you have a massage. You place your head in a padded holder, Then there was the section that was like a cut out for your boobies.  So as I laid down, in went my boobies and  they just hung there. The next procedure kind of reminded me of a bull in a shoot at a rodeo.........I know what a comparison, but it really was -- except it was for my girls -- my boobies.  The assistant took my right boobie and "secured" it with a holder and she did that with the left one as well. All the while I'm thinking, "Dear GAWD that poor woman has to do this daily?  Oh, well.  They gave me earplugs because the scanner is sooo freaking loud.  No exaggeration either.  What a major noise maker.  
So after I was secure, up I was lifted and apparently moved into this tube like donut.  If you have closterphobia, this wouldn't be as bad as one would think. But it can play with your mind if you let it.  I didn't let it do that to me.  I took it as a time to rest because I'm so tired from all this upheavel of activity.  So I closed my eyes and took myself to my happy places. I was back in Italy, I was back up a certain road I would walk when I was living in Civita D'Antino; I was in Roma at a great restaurant with Amy and Loreto; I was in Hawaii; I was everywhere I wanted to be.  It was truly relaxing.  So there were several 3-minute procedures. The whole entire thing lasted in that tube for about 35 minutes.  It was very relaxing for me. When it was all done, I took my time getting back up, talked with the tech, then I left.  It was that easy.
So tomorrow morning I come back and go in for my port.  I'm not worried in the least.  Yes, it's a new begnning to the next phase of this journey, but that means I can start shrinking the enemy here and reduce their sizes.  I figure if I don't sleep tonight, which I think I will, but if I don't, I will get forced sleep tomorrow. 
I am praying all the time these days. I meditate as well as pray.  I think that's all one can do.  But I am also trying to be me. It's hard for me to be completely me, but I must try.  I want to be more accepting.  And today was a good example of me still trying to control the situation.  So funny how that is.  I am changing, but I don't think for the worse. I am on this journey for whatever reason.  I have to go through that threshold of the unknown for me.  I am still here and hanging in there with the gusto of life embracing me.  I do feel all the love!  It's the most wonderful gift so many of you have given me!  Thank you again!
I am the luckiest and most loved person.  How much better does that get?  So till the next time I write.  I might not tomorrow since I may be out of commission.  But I will continue thereafter.  Keep me in your good thoughts and positive mindset. 

The cup's still half full no matter what! 
Rock on all!
And go dance!  Just do it!